Intimacy: Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto...

By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 028

You deserved it 8 060

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By MIND BLOWING - 20/10/2012 13:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 250

You deserved it 39 772

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 12 064

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 572

You deserved it 4 582

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 9 090

Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 291

You deserved it 2 896

By Anonymous - 18/12/2011 10:09 - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 17 553

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 119

You deserved it 5 920

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 26 491

By lice - 28/03/2009 13:34 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 425

You deserved it 14 000

By Loki16 - 02/06/2016 08:40 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend helped me apply liquid bandaid over an open wound. Unfortunately, she grabbed the liquid wart remover instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 521

You deserved it 757

Freeze_fml 16

Saturday 19 January 2013 16:12

Clean sex is good sex.

toughchick14 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 16:15

Well at least you know that the sex was 99.9% clean!

Comments

jujuroxursox 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 17:45

The cleaning of your genitals prevents the spread of STIs … but like most good things it hurts like hell

WaywardDaughter 26

Saturday 19 January 2013 17:51

Um no! That's not how it works.

blackicethedemon 2

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:08

STD! DU DU DUH

blackicethedemon 2

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:11

TROJAN WHAT'S THIS WONDERFUL CONDOM? it tingles bit feels so good. NOW INTRODUCING THE TINGLING POWER OF TROJAN BRAND HAMD SANITIZER CONDOM. thank you trojan man ahhh ooh it tingles

GweedSincE84_fml 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:15

Poor op. Your boyfriend can't get it wet without lube? Sorry about that op

Reaper1984 13

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:24

its like scrubbing bubbles it does the work so you don't have to, cause according to op it tingles

buckdharma 37

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:51

Alcohol and sex don't mix.

Domino3k 8

Saturday 19 January 2013 19:17

Wtf? You must be old lol who needs lube when your young ?! Lmao

caysters 12

Saturday 19 January 2013 19:30

How do you not notice the difference BEFORE the sex starts? One melts in your hand and smells like alcohol, the other is slimy and does not smell like alcohol...

japtap81 16

Saturday 19 January 2013 19:39

Her hand sanitizer could have smelled like chocolate, that 5 yr old drank a bottle of it. But just cuz ur young doesn't mean u don't get dry. Usually after u do it for awhile it gets dry.