Intimacy: Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her...

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 218

You deserved it 24 820

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 731

You deserved it 10 932

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 836

You deserved it 5 155

By needsnewshorts - 16/07/2013 01:42 - United States - San Clemente

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 496

You deserved it 23 651

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 973

You deserved it 5 273

Protip

By Herman - 13/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 437

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 755

By couldntholdit - 12/07/2011 17:09 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 374

You deserved it 23 964

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 540

You deserved it 1 610

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 678

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 117

You deserved it 7 282

YaboyVinnie 21

Sunday 11 August 2013 19:03

That was a rude gasture.

thrifting 18

Sunday 11 August 2013 19:10

You can never really truly love someone until you've broken the unspoken fart barrier.

Comments

150493x 29

Sunday 11 August 2013 23:03

My bf farts in front of me all the time. We just laugh about it. I hope she didn't overreact about it.

Krystal3408 32

Sunday 11 August 2013 23:05

I'm sorry this is hilarious xD

phatdaddy62 23

Sunday 11 August 2013 23:37

You probably took her breath away.

mikey38654 3

Tuesday 13 August 2013 19:21

Shazam!

sweetbliss3 37

Sunday 11 August 2013 23:55

hopefully she just laughed it off and did one better than yours

ViviMage 38

Monday 12 August 2013 0:10

FHL. You're a gassy geezer. You blew it! Flatus on your back in love? Leave the Chanel no. 2 at home! Or work on a farm. Come smell the dairy air!

taylor21398 14

Monday 12 August 2013 0:50

If she's one of those girls who flip out over that She must be fake cause she farts too !

rich443 22

Monday 12 August 2013 0:52

all I see here is an epic win I would have die laughing

Alexisbitter 1

Monday 12 August 2013 1:20

Lol fun haha

AzWolf 5

Monday 12 August 2013 1:23

You got her back!

Monique_operario 11

Monday 12 August 2013 1:46

Lol well at least you didn't shart on her

Keywords

Cute Love Surprise Texting My ex Awkward Wanker Intimacy Sex Sleep Health Insomnia Mental health Cooking Food Kids Weekend Parents Miscellaneous Annoying Pranks Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Cats Animals

The Top

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 83 220

Today, I went for an interview in the big city, with an expensive commute. Despite being an office-based management role requiring years of experience, they only offered minimum wage. After explaining it wouldn't be acceptable and tried to negotiate, they kicked me out and had the balls to call me "ungrateful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 99

The Top

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 301

You deserved it 3 760

Today, I was told by step-dad, who I live with, that my mom "hates my guts" while smiling so big, because he got a call from her. He's so desperate for her to come back that all the lying, cheating, manipulation, and emotional abuse doesn't push him away. She's a tornado. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 92

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 717

You deserved it 12 569

Today, my bedroom in my gran's house gets the most sun in the evenings. There is no AC, not even a fan, and the only place cool enough to sleep is the basement. Which probably hasn’t been cleaned since the '80s, and I have to share it with the biggest spider ever and a beehive in the roller shutter casing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 190

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 804

You deserved it 2 782

Today, I went to school with a bad haircut. I got about 50 cancer jokes so far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 498

You deserved it 2 168

Same thing different taste

Ouch!

Protip

Nice outing

Top comments

Comments