Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu...

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 501

You deserved it 10 829

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Same thing different taste

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 481

By combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 372

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 054

You deserved it 7 199

By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 6 846

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 120

You deserved it 7 283

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 841

You deserved it 3 013

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 822

You deserved it 42 655

By fartwoman - 23/06/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 133

You deserved it 62 898

splat_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:53

Today, when I was out to go for a romantic diner with my girlfriend, a waitress came up to us. Right before she was going to give us the menu, she farted really loud. I felt my hair blowing in the wind. FML.

24788 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

That's what I call giving your customers a little extra. Even though it's a horrible gift!

Comments

kp56789 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 23:35

that's freaking funny....

aneshao 0

Thursday 8 April 2010 17:20

I hope no one was behind u

pinkerton015 0

Friday 30 April 2010 0:28

ew. stop eating so much meat and you won't rip ass like a hog. try it.

TheB0a 5

Tuesday 21 September 2010 23:06

I would of said "So that's the special huh ?"

lucy_rawr 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 19:35

EPIC LOL

yellow12345 0

Friday 25 March 2011 10:09

lol that's gotta be awkward, but it can't be helped

gay22 3

Friday 27 May 2011 15:28

thats awesome! I totally do shit like that on purpose!

Da5h0t 1

Monday 21 May 2012 6:45

Who'd you blame it on?

beastroish 0

Sunday 27 May 2012 10:17

They have to pay extra for that surprise. A double tip.

MommaSchmidt 14

Friday 28 June 2013 8:39

and that's why I sadly have to refuse all dairy

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 549

You deserved it 7 856

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 161

The Top

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 823

You deserved it 3 843

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 307

You deserved it 3 613

Today, I've been bedridden with the flu for two weeks. My boyfriend only got concerned because I haven't done any laundry, and was worried about what the girls at the coffee shop across from work would think if he turned up wearing the same clothes two days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 130

Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 690

You deserved it 6 821

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 042

You deserved it 13 123

Today, my new colleagues discovered the videos I did in college when I was short of money and didn't know they would end up online. My friend even asked if I was "the guy who came after 30 seconds and was comforted by the director". I was that guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 751

You deserved it 1 384

Same thing different taste

Panic!

Denial

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