Intimacy: Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn...

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 13:01 - United States

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 11 225

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 20:03 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 908

You deserved it 4 924

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 349

You deserved it 5 010

Going at it

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 070

You deserved it 3 524

Woof woof

By kjdhfakjs - 20/05/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 449

You deserved it 6 709

Exercise One

By blah - 02/06/2020 23:00

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 323

You deserved it 438

By R_U_CEREAL - 04/07/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 105

You deserved it 13 731

Humping

By needanotherbed - 28/05/2014 14:21 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 421

You deserved it 6 198

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 1 307

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 700

You deserved it 9 302

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 588

You deserved it 4 903

Xx3rdBASSxX 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 19:05

Was the pillow pet Horney?

MicroFuturism 1

Sunday 4 December 2011 19:05

Pfft don't be so uptight.

Comments

mew09 0

Monday 5 December 2011 3:35

Awesome!

Beck2209 0

Monday 5 December 2011 3:48

Why do you have that pillow?

xFullMoonHeartx 7

Monday 5 December 2011 3:48

You're the child for having a unicorn pillow pet.

Acdlovee 0

Monday 5 December 2011 3:57

How old is he 13?

Kennzz 0

Monday 5 December 2011 4:20

Your telling him to not act like a child.. Yet, you have a unicorn pillow pet. Nice -.-

mikede420 0

Monday 5 December 2011 4:20

What a waste of FML space.

Rainbowface 2

Monday 5 December 2011 9:02

I know right? All my FMLs get rejected and this whiny shit gets put up wtf

ashleys562165 0

Monday 5 December 2011 4:30

Get the **** over it. My bf would do something like that to and I would find it funny!

sushi55555 6

Monday 5 December 2011 4:34

you tell him to stop acting like a child but yet you have a pillow pet?

bri0731 0

Monday 5 December 2011 4:37

Yup your boyfriends a immature child...good luck with that OP

Lenho 26

Monday 5 December 2011 5:01

I'm sure guys at 10 Second Traumas can make an excellent version of this one.

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