Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 281

You deserved it 5 630

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 178

You deserved it 8 661

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 836

You deserved it 6 346

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 113

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 10 862

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 670

You deserved it 8 164

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 106

You deserved it 7 023

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 128

You deserved it 13 421

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 289

You deserved it 29 243

mahade 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 13:12

I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!

SlightlyGPirate 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 12:12

hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD

Comments

Failwolf 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 4:53

That's not an FML, that's damn hilarious! Should have joined in, you got a keeper!

Ows_fml 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 8:12

Cool girlfriend. You gotta keep her

Sjnous 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 17:02

HAHAH! You've got an amazing girlfriend! :D

stella2fast 2

Sunday 1 November 2009 4:42

ahahahaha i just got a kick out of that one. thats hilarious! shes funny

BeatlesKidAlways 0

Monday 2 November 2009 7:29

Sorry you didn't finish having sex, but what happened doesn't seem so bad. Once I read an FML that said, "Today, I walked into my bedroom and my husband was standing there naked, with his back turned at me. I quickly got undressed thinking he wanted to have sex, and when he noticed I was in the room, he turned around. He had drawn a little face on his penis and he was talking to it." Another one that was hilarious like yours was, "Today I was having sex with my boyfriend and when I moaned his name, he replied, "I'm not Jim. It's-a-me, Mario!"

sleepywutang 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 0:38

ohh had to sign up when i saw this!! dude you gf is epic!

Danny_Cannibal 0

Tuesday 10 November 2009 12:56

I've read about three different FML's that are all exactly like this... See, a normal person would find this odd; But I have done this exact thing to my girlfriend on multiple occasions... ^^ *MCHammer shuffle*

CarterColbie 4

Friday 27 November 2009 22:03

Lmao your girlfriend is awesome.

jesusjammies 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 2:49

Uh yeah this is funny I guess but everyone here is like ******** their pants, "OMG UR GIRLFRIEND IS EPIC JESUS MATERIAL I JUST SHIT MY PANTS LOLZ MC HAMMER I"M DYING LOLZ!!!!1!!1" Maybe it was funnier to me THE FIRST TIME I READ THIS SAME EXACT POST ON THIS WEBSITE... Maybe.