Scary and Animals: Uh oh

Uh oh

By uh-oh - 25/03/2012 05:49 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 3 736

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Same thing different taste

Thanksssss

By Mojosahomo - 10/01/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 622

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 4 370

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 45 480

By Anonymous - 29/05/2018 02:33

Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 1 002

By nattnatt73 - 10/09/2016 07:07 - United States - Marion

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 852

You deserved it 1 892

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 791

You deserved it 6 879

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 19:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 903

You deserved it 4 519

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 402

You deserved it 685

Scared for life

By Mary - 16/02/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, like most days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice, but this time he brought this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family "brave" enough to go fetch our cat's gifts. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 947

You deserved it 3 076

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 408

thehouseaddict 3

Sunday 25 March 2012 12:02

Run, Forrest, run'

GotBrains 0

Sunday 25 March 2012 12:06

Could have been worse, you could have kicked your pet snake's dog toy :)

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 25 March 2012 21:06

These MOTHERFUCKING snakes, man! - Sam L. Jackson.

cece91798 3

Sunday 25 March 2012 22:09

At least it's out of your way now. ;)

rosssl 2

Sunday 25 March 2012 22:12

At least you didn't get bit BEFORE you kicked it, i don't know about after

Trishy_c 5

Sunday 25 March 2012 23:34

It's true some Australians eat kangaroo, apparently it tastes really nice but I personally would never try

KRiddle 15

Monday 26 March 2012 0:21

S-S-S-S-S-SNAKE!

pinky78711 5

Monday 26 March 2012 2:08

Me and my friends have a thing called scream and run SCREAM AND RUN

Zangetsu67 5

Monday 26 March 2012 2:15

So that's where my snake went

ashlii13111 4

Monday 26 March 2012 3:57

Kangaroo tastes so gooood but snake..

AJ33 0

Monday 26 March 2012 4:01

DA !

AlliK1 0

Monday 26 March 2012 4:32

Should have looked to see if it was moving first. My dog doesn't have a toy snake

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 84 246

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 782

The Top

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 809

You deserved it 12 921

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 770

You deserved it 3 573

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 640

You deserved it 30 381

Today, a self check-in hotel charged me 50 bucks for an iPad charger I allegedly stole. On the security footage I can be seen removing a charger. It was my own charger that I'd plugged in because the iPad for the check-in didn't work and the charger was missing. I even contacted the helpline about it, which can be seen on the footage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 97

Today, while enjoying a lovely 80 degree day, I returned from a 2-hour bike ride to find my truck window smashed. The only thing taken was my change of clothes. My insurance company says it'll cost $1000 to replace the window. I feel like I got robbed twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 301

You deserved it 218

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 569

You deserved it 19 397