Work, Smoking, Accident, Awkward and Cigarettes: Up in smoke - FML

Up in smoke

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 808

You deserved it 46 706

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Top comments

muFilter 19

Friday 15 February 2013 10:51

Ah, the one smoking hazard the Surgeon General didn't warn you about. That's how they get ya...

andyyroxx 20

Friday 15 February 2013 10:47

Apply cold water to the - Hey where's half of your beard?

Comments

Ziggy122 15

Saturday 16 February 2013 7:29

Time to quit, bro.

Moe2311 2

Saturday 16 February 2013 7:33

You deserved getting your beard burned for lighting up in the car, that was really stupid of you to mess around with fire while in a moving vehicle. But you didn't deserve to be fired because of your injury/appearance that happened due to a stupid accident. Sorry bro.

Satoaoi 13

Saturday 16 February 2013 8:45

well your lucky You didn't crash or worse into someone else

Fooey_214 12

Saturday 16 February 2013 16:45

Lmao

mohamm11 4

Saturday 16 February 2013 19:54

Don't light a cigarette while driving! YDI

maxman13524 13

Saturday 16 February 2013 23:29

Moral of the story: don't smoke

soph_volleyball 11

Sunday 17 February 2013 3:20

Another reason y ppl shouldn't smoke

bootytoo 14

Monday 18 February 2013 9:34

I'm sorry but I find this hilarious.

GetSomeM0 24

Wednesday 13 March 2013 15:34

the patch works..

Dwidge 14

Wednesday 21 August 2013 11:13

I have often said that life tends to toss you harsh (but true) wakeup calls. This, I venture to say, is yours.

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Keywords

Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Awkward Smells Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Social Media Grieving Music Boredom Anniversary Abuse Intimacy Ironic Alcohol AITA Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 916

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 304

You deserved it 6 440

The Top

Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 510

Today, my boyfriend’s family, whom I’ve known since I was in elementary school, now completely hate and blame me for "ruining their precious baby boy’s life." I'd called the police and reported him after finding out he cheated on me with not one, but several high school girls. We’re in our 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 324

You deserved it 251

Today, I received a very angry email from the lady who interviewed me for a position at a clothing store. She told me I was entitled, unprofessional, and greedy. Apparently, “Because I need money to pay my bills and feed my daughter” wasn’t an appropriate response to, “Why do you wanna work here?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 391

Today, after over a dozen separate blood tests, my doctor told me conclusively that my results are perfectly normal for a middle-aged woman in the early stages of pregnancy. Problem is, I’m a 24-year-old guy, so my doctor is very concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 126

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 984

You deserved it 5 018

Today, while spacing out about my hot male boss, he called my name for something and I replied, "Yes Daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 413