OP's son totally owned him.

And a a parent is supposed to be a model of responsibility and someone that can be trusted. This parent proved themselves to be neither responsible nor trustworthy. Even parents must earn the respect of their children. If they're not worthy of being respected, they're not going to be respected, and that's just the facts.

Again, not the parents job to make sure their kids like them. Parents job is to keep them safe and be aware of what their kid is doing.

Only that you'll **** your kid up if you don't respect their privacy and even worse, are lying to them. If you want to raise a stable, mature human that can eventually keep themselves safe (because you're not gonna be around forever as a parent), you might want to teach them about boundaries, communication and trust. However, if you as a parent don't get that concept... neither will your kids.

Never said to lie to them. You can't let your kids raise themselves, this is why so many kids are messed up because they have no guidance.

load of scrap. if he wants privacy then he should get his own house ant pay for his own bills. I'll be damned if some kid is going to use my house as a drug den then get pissed off when I clean his room and find stuff that doesn't belong.

redhead_sprhro #19 never said anything about making your child like you. they said that a child needs to trust and respect their parent, which is a completely different thing than your child liking you. And the OP was completely in the wrong here. Snooping through your child's Internet history isn't "protecting" them - it's not trusting them and not giving them the responsibility to make the right choice. Protecting your child would be to utilize the parental controls and block certain searches and websites and the like.

I would agree if this was the kids own computer that he bought himself. You are making this out to be like OP read their diary. OP is checking to see if their child is being exposed to something they should not be, and not reading their private thoughts. OP should use parental controls to restrict forbidden sites and searches as you said thou.

@redhead_sprhro Though I understand parents want to make sure their kids aren't exposed to certain things, consistently snooping browser history doesn't stop anything. Busting them for it doesn't change what they saw, things can be taken out of context, kids can click something in a search accidentally or not knowing it means something bad until they get to the site, and snooping just to punish them will only cause rebellion. Basically, you should talk to them about their behavior but not actually punish them unless it's something that wasn't private. Even kids have freedom of thought and speech in their personal time.

I wouldn't say going through his history is trying to be his friend. It's an invasion of his privacy, sure, but not trying to be his friend. But, you know, whatever floats your boat homie...□_□

Well reading the diary is OK as long as the parents payed for the diary and the pen, right?

If the diary was in the open and used by the entire family then yes

What does drugs have to do with search history? There is not even a thread holding them together. One is illegal and the other is about privacy. If your kid sells drug from your house by all means do what you have to but to tell your kid that you trust them then turn around and snoop for anything that shows you what they do in there free time is just wrong on so meany levels.

#33, As a person who has never had parental controls and never had parents who read my history, I can safely assure you that I have neither sold nor done drugs. Instead, I'm actually currently holding a 4.0 GPA. It's all about trust and communication.

I'm talking about the privacy part, and as a parent, I base that expectation on the child's behavior. if they earn that trust then fine,, but don't expect privacy when trust isn't earned. if I prayed for the computer and I suspect something is up and it's in my house, I will do what I need to check my child. I don't expect my house to be. the wild wild west. And having a 4.0 in school doesn't stop bad behavior. I know lots of drug addicts with good grades.

wait, you won't give them privacy but you will clean their room. so your teaching them lying is okay, and that they don't need to keep order because someone else will do it for them. that's poor parenting, if your going to dig through your kids things, they need to know beforehand. I'll buy you this phone, but I will be keeping tabs on everything, that's the agreement. being honest is very important, because if they can't trust you, they'll find someone they do. and most times that person isn't as caring as you are. also, stop cleaning their room, what are you teaching them by being their house bitch. I'm 26 and married, and I have my family over every week. I impart these things to my younger siblings because my dad isn't here and can't do it. You need to be a good person to raise a good person. you don't need to be their friend, but they need to be able to trust you and k kw you care.

some parents snoop but any parent should only snoop if they have a very good reason, and if you promise to your child then under no account should you snoop

I think OP has every right to describe himself as a bastard, especially as his child can't see. There's nothing wrong with obscenity, it's all about context

I don't know where you live but in Australia it isn't even a bad term really.

#25 I assume they were referring to the fact OP wanted to punish his son for bad language, even though it also wasn't to his face and was completely private if not for OP's snooping.

#53, that is exactly what i meant. #50, it doesn't seem like a bad word on its own, but when used in a negative context it is offensive towards people who are children of parents who weren't married when they had their baby. The word "bastard" should not be used to describe someone or yourself negatively.

Bastard isn't really that bad of a word.... op wasn't calling even calling his son a bastard, soooooo.... that doesn't really make him a bad person...

Calling someone or oneself a "lying bastard" is akin to calling someone a "stupid retard." The words "bastard" and "retard" themselves are not wrong when used in the literal sense, but the negative implication is what makes it completely inappropriate.

*audits. But yes it is important to monitor the usage somehow.