Intimacy: Well? - FML

Well?

By Johntheladdo - 29/03/2011 17:26 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 367

You deserved it 10 516

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anun - 14/01/2014 14:06 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 7 076

By MandMandM - 19/07/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 555

You deserved it 6 171

By anonymous - 08/12/2011 10:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 152

You deserved it 4 291

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Spicy

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 914

You deserved it 7 113

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 567

You deserved it 16 444

By how about never? - 19/10/2014 11:22 - United States - San Fernando

Spicy

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 922

You deserved it 5 173

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 5 301

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 9 534

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 3 323

Next

Top comments

Mpsteve13 7

Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:04

use your leg

Bandz_fml 3

Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:06

I thought the 4 worst words were "I have a penis"

Comments

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:54

best thing a man can hear: ahhhhhh!!! *squirt*

ASHLEYbcddd 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:59

shut the **** up. your old creepers yelling at a girl for misreading something. Grow up, and stop worrying about what a 15 year old girl wrote. Dumb *****.

piratelady_fml 1

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:12

lol whose fault is it that you got a little one? just practice and work with what u got dude

Timmeyh87 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:42

YDI for not putting your fist in and make apologize for that remark.

Timmeyh87 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:44

her*

johnnie254 7

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:43

you need to jack off more

paigeme 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:45

he said it was! lol toooooo funny

Infernari 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:46

hardly your fault that your partner's loose as a pool full of pudding...

JokeMeister 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:52

put some spikes on it and u'll never hear that again. u won't have any 2nd tries, but....

bassdredd 2

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:56

fail.

reptarroars 7

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:56

"it's not my fault that you have a wide set ****** and a heavy flow"

7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 647

You deserved it 1 159

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 565

You deserved it 29 124

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 546

You deserved it 4 268

Today, I got pulled over for talking on my phone while driving. I'd lost my phone the day before. He didn’t believe me. So, I got a ticket for talking on a phone I can’t even find. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 153

Today, I went into labor, and my husband wasn't answering his phone. I called my sister to ask her to drive me to the hospital but she said she'd only do it if I paid her $1000. I had to dial 911, and almost gave birth in my bathroom in process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 120

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 790

You deserved it 35 330

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years went on a 2-week trip to Italy to spend time with his family. Thinking nothing of it, I decided to go to a Comic Con alone. I saw him there with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 283

You deserved it 318