Intimacy: Well?

Well?

By Johntheladdo - 29/03/2011 17:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 367

You deserved it 10 516

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anun - 14/01/2014 14:06 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 983

You deserved it 7 076

By MandMandM - 19/07/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 555

You deserved it 6 171

By anonymous - 08/12/2011 10:37 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 152

You deserved it 4 291

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 915

You deserved it 7 113

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 568

You deserved it 16 444

By how about never? - 19/10/2014 11:22 - United States - San Fernando

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 922

You deserved it 5 173

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 5 301

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 655

You deserved it 9 534

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 260

You deserved it 3 323

Mpsteve13 7

Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:04

use your leg

Bandz_fml 3

Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:06

I thought the 4 worst words were "I have a penis"

Comments

Dez31396 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:24

sorry but that sucks ass dude

lesbianlovers69 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:25

awweee :(

rety1 13

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:26

that's when you say, well you'd know if you weren't so used and abused...

jas0113 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:33

Either your really small.. or she's really loose.

Hotkid198 3

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:39

Time for the penis pump buddy

jenaandtyler4eva 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:39

maybe grow a bigger one and then don't have to ask or learn how to use it right

ZeroTheHero 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:42

NO MOM lol

denvan 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:46

Maybe she's loose or you just need to enlarge it

Thatswhatshesaid_fml 3

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:46

take Viagra? btw I'm sorry your penis us so small ); LMAO. no really tho.. hah I gotta admit this is funny as ****.

breannababyboo 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:56

OP should of been like " could you be any looser?"

Keywords

Weddings Awkward Miscellaneous My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Work Money

The Top

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 836

You deserved it 6 059

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

The Top

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." He then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 680

You deserved it 3 794

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 593

You deserved it 8 102

Today, my fiancé told me that he doesn't think cheating is a big deal because everybody does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 979

You deserved it 3 931

Today, my neighbour reported me for touching his wife’s vagina while she was asleep. She wasn’t asleep, she'd passed out giving birth and I had to help get the baby out because the ambulance was late, and her husband was busy vomiting from how slimy and smelly it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 101

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 441

You deserved it 2 115

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 647

You deserved it 48 671