Stalker and Miscellaneous: WHO ARE YOU?

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 198

You deserved it 2 894

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 441

You deserved it 4 500

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 404

You deserved it 2 850

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 4 229

Which side are you on?

By thefuckman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 964

You deserved it 1 718

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 634

You deserved it 3 773

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 933

You deserved it 3 338

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 866

You deserved it 3 410

Cliché for real

By fuckinghicks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 333

You deserved it 17 722

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 864

You deserved it 30 071

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 673

You deserved it 9 996

Srs_business 7

Friday 9 November 2012 8:51

He's a damn good ninja then.

Demonfish 14

Friday 9 November 2012 8:52

Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!

Comments

SaturnV 25

Friday 9 November 2012 14:45

Maybe you should change up your routine a bit? Choose another window to look out, or skip that part of your morning altogether. He obviously gets some thrill from you knowing he's there (and you checking for him each morning), so if you deprive him of any acknowledgment, perhaps he'll get bored and stop.

Marrach 7

Friday 9 November 2012 14:46

Take a picture? Record each day for 2 weeks reading the date and looking?

Wiringify 22

Friday 9 November 2012 15:01

Seems that you've been Targeted. Just like your username.

Denomic 9

Friday 9 November 2012 15:03

That's pretty "G" if you ask "Me".

interesting33 36

Friday 9 November 2012 15:10

Maybe it was your neighbour? Trying to scare you. If it WAS a ninja - then I would say don't worry because the only reason you saw them was because they let you see them. So they are just trying to make you paranoid. Don't be. It is just some prankster joking around. Don't always be looking over your shoulder. I might be wrong - but sorry you had to go through that OP. Still funny though..