You have been warned

By PUA - 15/03/2012 01:06 - United States

Spicy
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 332
You deserved it 6 601
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Trembelwick 5

Ex-Marine used Slash on the wild enemy Boyfriend! It was super effective!

526 6

Comments

downtime 12

47, Sure, now if you wouldn't mind also letting me know tomorrows lotto numbers because apparently you have the ability to predict the future.

5 10
wlddog 14

It's a test. A very effective test. I pull my daughters suiters in real close and whisper into their ear, "Anything you do with my daughter, you and I will be doing later.". Then I slap his butt and tell them to be back 30 minutes earlier than I originally said. It motivates the proper environment I want my daughter in. If that doesn't work, I show him the hole behind my shop and tell him it's where I will bury him.

10 3
laden_swallow09 34

Huh… I'll have to remember that one. Seems legit.

1 1
Pajanimal 1

What an exhausting yet exhilarating evening that would be.

1 1
wlddog 14

Ah... The hole was there before the shop was. I'm just too busy to fill it up. Would have to get pretty pissed to actually use the hole.

0 1
Pajanimal 1

I meant the first part, for the guy.

0 1
PInK_ExCiTeD 7

Promising future family you got there son lmfao!

1 1
Raider4life15 2

I had that same kind of feeling today, just not as drastic. Ik how u feel. FYL OP

1 2
Adrena_fml 5

I can't wait for my husband to do something like that :)

4 4
bootz412 0

And he's an older marine, vietnam era I'm guessing? Then he's really not joking, well if problems do arise end it on good terms talk to her face to face and work something out then you'll keep your penis and probably have alot more respect from her father, good luck OP.

1 3
swampbilly 5

Vietnam was a ways back my grandpa fought then, I'd say Iraq? dessert storm?

0 1
bootz412 0

My dad was in Vietnam he's in his 50's but I've seen him rip a guys window out of his truck and fracture his face with one hit for brake checking us so I mean he still got it lol

2 1
wlddog 14

185 - Your dad is awesome. Tell him thank you for serving.

0 1
bootz412 0

He was till he snapped out and almost shot me then went insane and left me stranded but up intill that point he was

0 1
j_sheree6121 10

There is no such thing as an ex-marine. Once a marine always a marine. He is a former marine.

5 2