Intimacy: You tried

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 484

You deserved it 7 755

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Same thing different taste

Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 173

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 761

You deserved it 5 668

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 664

You deserved it 9 970

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 9 669

By krisx3ftw - 11/01/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 335

You deserved it 5 749

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 391

You deserved it 5 766

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 988

You deserved it 13 833

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 5 721

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 555

You deserved it 4 643

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

Comments

omgcyndaquil 23

Monday 12 January 2015 15:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

howard007 18

Monday 12 January 2015 17:02

"Sorry Ronald!" -Ops Bf

superspooky 13

Monday 12 January 2015 19:07

Or they could just NOT do it in a car.

kristabelli 19

Wednesday 14 January 2015 23:55

Girl on top is really the only way it works in the car. Good luck next time OP! Don't give up!

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

kinky44 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:34

Happy ending meal.

user716 11

Monday 12 January 2015 15:48

Fappy Meal

incoherentrmblr 21

Tuesday 13 January 2015 0:49

A bag of McJizz...

jerryj 27

Tuesday 13 January 2015 9:08

I doubt the ingenuity of #20's reply can be topped. Let us rejoice!

LittleMissShadow 16

Monday 12 January 2015 15:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

strokesie 23

Monday 12 January 2015 15:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

clairesucks 37

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

Useful in so many situations

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 12 January 2015 19:12

Probably the best use yet for one, to be honest.

clairesucks 37

Monday 12 January 2015 15:24

Better luck next time OP

buckstop1 37

Monday 12 January 2015 21:52

or never

llalala_fml 19

Tuesday 13 January 2015 6:29

I read the #5s comment as "better **** next time" I think I like that more

howtobestupid 16

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

I can't look at a McDonalds bag the same now

crimsonprodigy 15

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

Should have switched positions to the hood of the car. Much more exciting.

nyte_assassin1 11

Monday 12 January 2015 15:26

"I'm loving it"

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

missbrit818 20

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

lol that sucks, but this is funny to read! Sorry about that though op!

Keywords

Coworkers Work Dogs Animals Cars Transportation Art Photography Miscellaneous Videos Love Awkward Health Scams My ex Money Sex Family AITA Am I overreacting? Healthy Lifestyle Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Facebook Nice Guys

The Top

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 642

You deserved it 29 276

Today, I caught my girlfriend of a year texting her ex, asking if she was enough for him sexually. He responded in detail about all their sexual activities, but she says I’m overreacting and shouldn’t keep throwing it in her face. Am I wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 205

The Top

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 341

You deserved it 4 477

Today, my lawyer let me know that due to the rising costs of living, her rate has increased to $565 an hour. That's more 20 times my pay. I'm not even getting a cost of living increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 105

Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 637

You deserved it 15 543

Today, my grandpa passed away. The only emotion my dad showed was anger, because my grandpa owed my dad money. Now he wants to take it from my grandma, like he's some sort of mobster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 405

You deserved it 1 543

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 702

You deserved it 5 643

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 029

You deserved it 4 346

You tried

Same thing different taste

Hangry for that Mickey D's

Horndog

Anticlimactic

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