health

OP here. Most of y'all know me. This is my 3rd FML posted this year so I got a little streak going. Update: the doctor who performed surgery on me has been hospitalized. I'm not sure why yet. I need a follow-up appointment to get my stitches removed. That being said, my delay may be longer than expected before I can lace the gloves again.

Pranks are terrible

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Humble

Today, my sister threw my water bottle as a joke. When I stepped off the bleachers, my right foot lost its footing and my other foot followed. Now I have two sprained ankles at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 82

Deniers

By La theRona - 05/08/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I’m the only one in my family who's ever taken Covid seriously. This seemed to really annoy my siblings, so much so that they chased me, pulled off my mask, and dramatically coughed all over me. We’re all adults and though they found it hilarious, I’ve been having panic attacks all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 437

Creativity stifled

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 271

You deserved it 22 464

Posturing

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 02:01 - Canada

Today, I researched how to manage chronic tailbone pain from excessive sitting. One of the most consistent pieces of advice was to lean forward when working. My posture is already so bad, my chiropractor says I'm one of his worst clients of all time. I work a desk job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 192

Pampered

By Pinsky - 04/08/2021 19:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, the 61 year-old Vice-President of our company complained about a blister to four landscapers working outside in the July heat, for 10 minutes. He then made me carry his lunch bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 151

That's gonna cost ya!

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 15:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I accidentally stepped on the metal prongs of an extension cord. After pulling it out of my sock, I noticed that all three of the prongs were covered in blood; they penetrated my foot. It bled like a gunshot wound for several minutes, and now my foot is unbearably sore, making it painful to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 222

Healthy mind in a healthy body

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 12:59 - Brazil - Niter?i

Today, I started a diet to lose the 20lbs I put on during quarantine. It was also the day my body decided the diminished food intake means I'm trying to starve it to death, and must be punished with a horrible migraine. That's what I get for trying to be healthier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 223

Free Healthcare for All

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 14:01

Today, my health is such a wreck that I’m not even sure if my main problem is mental or physical. To find out, I’d need health insurance. To get that, I’d need a job. To find a job, I’d need to be way less of a wreck. I’m in that state where you’re proud to have actually gotten out of bed each day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 239

Eat to the beat

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 06:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, working at McDonald’s, I get lunch money on top of my salary. Well, actually I don’t *get* the money, I can eat the money. No freestyling though, only items that are actually on the menu. I guess my health and my figure won’t be lovin' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 294

Gobble gobble

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 00:01

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 137

Stiff Little Fingers

By Lunar-Spice - 03/08/2021 16:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I found out that the stiffness I've been feeling in my hand is arthritis and that it's only going to get worse. Not only do I type for my job, I'm also 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 72

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 18:01 - Germany

Today, I ended up in the hospital by accidentally eating poisonous berries, from a plant that I've known since childhood to be poisonous, which I also recognized as belonging to the nightshade family. I still don’t understand what made them look tasty. Brain fart of the century, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 1 222

Net!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 126

You deserved it 2 827

Superspreader event

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 05:59

Today, my son had a fever and bad cough all night. Turns out he has RSV. My friend's baby, whose birthday party we went to a few days ago, also has RSV, and had been sick all week. She knew this and still went through with the party, without informing any of us parents. Now my baby is on breathing treatments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 139

Chronic

By sick not siiiick - 02/08/2021 18:01 - Australia

Today, after years of being unable to work because of chronic illness, I finished my second week of a new job. I'm so utterly and completely wiped out, I don't know if I can continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 146

The root

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 02:01 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I got a lecture from my mother about how bad my stress has been, how I have to treat myself better and do something with my life. She still doesn't realize that most of the cause of my stress has been from her berating me about how stressed out I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 111

Keywords

Babysitter Cute Kids Dogs Health Skincare Emergency Doctor Hospital Love Vacation Engagement ring AITA Awkward Social Media Relatable Facebook Money Scams Sex Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Underwear Animals Halloween Fire Smells First Dates Work

The Top

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 3 310

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 14

The Top

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 112

You deserved it 4 257

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 489

You deserved it 1 968

Today, my dad got upset when one of his employees showed a romantic interest in my mom. Both parents were totally fine, though, with that same employee announcing his engagement to my 15-year-old sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 123

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 565

You deserved it 9 463

Today, I cleared out the messages in my voicemail. Of the 50+ messages, most were from my mother wanting to know when I'd be home. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 824

You deserved it 4 659

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 79