By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Spicy
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 660
You deserved it 64 579

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Sounds like she was crying about it because she's gonna need that hand later to finish

OP you're kind of an asshole. Just because it doesn't look bad to you doesn't mean she isn't hurting.

Comments

Such a waste of a first comment... Just like OP's penis apparently...

JulianaBlackburn 19

#8- Such a waste of a first reply to the first comment

Not only that, how was #8's comment supposed to make sense? Never heard of a penis being a waste unless it's on a guy who wants a sex change.

Perhaps its not the tool but instead the vessel itself thats the problem

Gearden 8

I don't see the point in lying about having an ****** when you could communicate with your partner about what you like and don't like and hopefully have a real one.

Agreed. My fiancée couldn't reach ****** during sex for a long time but never lied to me about it so I kept trying instead of thinking everything was good. Now I can give her 3 or more almost every time because we found our rhythm. I'm glad she let me know even though so we could make it work.

Or maybe she just started lying about it so as not to make you feel bad about it.

Sounds like she was crying about it because she's gonna need that hand later to finish

Remember to apply aloe gel to burns, OP.

Apply lotion to the burn instead, I have a feeling he isn't getting any for a while so might as well knock out two birds with one stone.

incoherentrmblr 21

Yes, lotion w/ aloe, not KY Fire & Ice...

pnutzmckracken 3

Except for the part where she faked her orgasms and essentially lied about them which is, you know, not very honest.

Not a problem I have myself (considerate & talented lover, yay!) but I understand sometimes no matter how hard a guy tries sometimes a girl just can't... And she doesn't want them to feel unaccomplished. Even though honesty is the best policy, I've never had to fake them. So I hope I'm making sense, but I could understand it being a women's fault not being able to finish, not just a dud partner. Situational.

Could Have Been more empathetic, instead of pathetic.

OP you're kind of an asshole. Just because it doesn't look bad to you doesn't mean she isn't hurting.

jojimugo 20

Kinda like just cause she is screaming and moaning doesn't mean she is getting satisfied

Your name fits the nonsense in your comment perfectly.

arandomusernameaa 20

How can a guy fake an ******? silly billy...

raininginseattle 9

You can fake it with a condom on if you get rid of the evidence right away.

But you can't fake a limp dick, sorry to break it to you.

Guys, maybe 6 was referring to Kramer in Seinfeld! He said he faked it when he'd seen enough and just wanted to go to sleep.

a guy can fake an ****** just as easily as any woman especially if the woman is very unobservant

Someone you supposedly love is hurt; you judge it is not severe and therefore your response is.... "stop faking it". Wow. You should be a kindergarten teacher or something.

Then shut the hell up and click thumbs up

41, this is FML. Using logic here is like telling people to stop with the shitty situation jokes.

#41, then why don't you shut the hell up and thumbs down?

time to hit a pharmacy. get her some icy hot and aleve for her hand, and a good burn cream for you

That was pretty insensitive of you op. Also, if she actually communicated with you during sex and told you what she liked then she wouldn't have to fake it.

Seeing as she told him she was in pain and he ignored her, I'm not sure communicating with him during sex would have had much of an effect.