Kids: Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife...

By thatoneguy - 05/09/2011 20:23 - United States

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 459

You deserved it 3 466

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Same thing different taste

By sumhub94 - 14/05/2013 16:48 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 667

You deserved it 3 921

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 08:30 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 600

You deserved it 4 432

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 116

By whattabrat - 26/02/2012 05:16 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 079

You deserved it 3 297

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 529

You deserved it 10 867

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 18:12 - United Kingdom - Ilminster

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 308

You deserved it 10 043

This boy

By GirlinGreen - 30/04/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 450

You deserved it 18 512

Demon child

By Some Guy - 12/10/2015 00:54 - United States - Allen

Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 366

You deserved it 2 771

By raquel - 17/07/2015 16:40 - United States

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 156

You deserved it 10 176

Bride of Chucky

By spooked - 22/11/2013 06:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 881

You deserved it 3 811

1215116a 14

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

Spoiled brat. -_-

Oceanborn_fml 24

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:15

You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job

Comments

lmfaoloool 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

You are in big trouble ... Run ! .. or just hide the knives :)

hailphire130 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:26

**** that. Take out the child before he gets you. He'll ******* carve out your flesh with a spoon if you hide the knives.

cali_dude 5

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:08

Give the kid his ice-cream and know ones nuts get hurt.

BADDiam 4

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:16

Holy shit its chucky

jallred254 4

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:35

Or give him sherbet... He'll never know... Silly silly unsuspecting child. Muahah!

GlitteryMasakali 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:33

Snatch the knife out of his hands and deal with him crying. Or just share the ice cream, greedy OP.

saritaojeda 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 7:43

Lol

folgy 10

Tuesday 6 September 2011 19:15

Teabag the knife out of his hand

jesernoob 13

Wednesday 7 September 2011 8:29

or you can always just "Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!...,"

bigtaytay 13

Friday 26 April 2013 16:54

Looks like OP is babysitting a little Brick Top in the making

jonan1212 5

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

StoryOfTheYear 14

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:09

Or just just cap the bugger off. That would be much easier.

ibedestinie 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:05

no.. he wants his nuts chopped off! -__-

1215116a 14

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

Spoiled brat. -_-

minisquid 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:14

Yeah, a real nutcase.

randii_17 11

Wednesday 7 September 2011 8:43

I really hope the kid didn't get his way...

ifinsane 6

Friday 28 October 2011 23:15

If your that much of a whip to handle a 5 year old even with a knife you shouldn't be babysitting

mileyfan17 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

Tell his parents. Kids these days lmao ;)

jajajapun 5

Tuesday 6 September 2011 2:57

Children need to defend themselves. No one gets convicted for killing them, nowadays.

swinglifeaway123 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:55

sooo's muh peeenis... Inappropriate genital jokes ftw.

jallred254 4

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:38

It's called roidrage duhh!

jarlaxle1138 3

Wednesday 7 September 2011 7:35

86-YAY Casey Anthony jokes xD

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

Whoa kids these days are intense!

ciarafox9 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

You better be getting paid a fortune!

FernAdele 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:13

I hope you saved your balls!

NoLimitzzGaming 7

Wednesday 7 September 2011 7:32

Not trying to be rude or anything, just kinda a heads up but I think ya got a nip slip going on in your picture.

NoLimitzzGaming 7

Wednesday 7 September 2011 7:32

Not trying to be rude or anything, just kinda a heads up but I think ya got a nip slip going on in your picture.

FernAdele 9

Wednesday 7 September 2011 19:15

hahahaaa it's a shadow and I'm 4 years younger there

nitewlf12 10

Thursday 8 September 2011 4:28

That's exactly why women are the ones that babysit. This is what happens when men try to invade on a woman's task.

ThisGi 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:13

Physiologist

every1luvsvag 10

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:28

Oh, Kay, how I love watching you tear assholes.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:32

Oh kay, I missed the way you out comment the assholes. Kudos to you.

CryMoreFMLs 14

Tuesday 6 September 2011 3:54

Physiologist must be an old form of doctoring, a hidden practice that was turned illegal during the days of witch burning and torture. Or he's just a moron.