Uhm no that's a bit over protective/ psycho. Depending what age you are I guess.

Jump back to you mother and say oh NO you don't! And then slap her next time it happens.

Imagine if the mom caught them having sex...

OP, just tell your mother to stay 50 feet away from you. She's obviously not cool enough to be around you.

the devil has hands and he uses em fer holdin (Dewey Cox dad)

Um, did comment travel into the future because it sounds like another FML...

27: Detecting sarcasm is very important on FML. I suggest you learn how.

I don't see a 27 Wtf your comments time travelled again!

#27 Was deleted by a mod. Use your brain it's not that hard to figure out.

Haha I remember when I was a little younger, my mom did all that stuff to me. Like pressing the resent button when I was chatting with a guy, never leaving me home alone, never letting me go out alone, always picking me up from school, etc etc

She cares but she is hand blocking the crap out of him

27's comment is posted under 21's. It's like Find Waldo on FML sometimes. Lol

Oops.... never mind it's deleted.

What kind of date was it for your mom to be right there watching you?

Get another mom

Maybe it was in the park...a picnic or something...and stalker mom was in the bushes, waiting for the right moment to jump out?

Why are so many fmls lately ending in this isn't the first time it's happened??

atleast she let you hang out with him.. I'm 17 and my parents are still up my ass about hanging out with guys :/

wait... you said it was your FIRST date, but not the first time it happened? what?

159: *clears throat* It was not OP's very first date. Just her first date with that guy. Also, OP's mother has gone gangster on a fellow before that, apparently. Reading and comprehension= intelligence which = woo-******-hoo.

She'd say, "Oh no you don't!", and slap his dick.

How is it your first date but it isn't the first time it's happened?

I prefer "Cat Block"

Your parents are up your ass? I'm pretty sure that is illegal in all 50 states.

Forbidding the holding of hands at any age is quite extreme. There's nothing wrong with that.

AWW HELL NAW GIRL HOLD MAH EARRINGS

oh heeeeeyall nah! be careful boi, she be lookin for you, she gonna find, she gonna fiiind...

Yep, the mom is extreme.

Lmao at 30. Hahaha. 68, you kinda ruined it.

If she's that protective just tell her you were about to cross the street. Safety first!

My dad told my sisters boyfriend that he would cut his nuts off if he ever showed up at the door again.

That's harsh I'd loose it my parents did that.

in the car I just can't wait to pick you up on our very first date

"Is it cool if I hold your hand?" Oh heeellll noo!!

I know @mintcar....I know *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

Lol @ 30 I think it would be funny if my Mom did that on a first date. If the guy puts up with my Mom and still wants a second date, he's damn worthy of it. :) But the second date.... Id be a little pissed....

Okay, forget the stalking you bit. Even forget that she forbids you to hold someone's hand. She physically assaulted your date? I hope you defended him because you obviously knew what your mom was like before dragging this poor man into your little slice of hell.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. My parents have seen me kiss my boyfriend and they only teased us about it for a little bit.

word.

11 words.

Just buy her some sex pills and slip them in your dad and moms food. Problem solved.

Words with friends

That was wat I was thinking lol

what if the dad's not around. or dead. and the mother isnt a necrophiliac. hire a body double to lead your mother to the opposite side of town while you have wild deviant sex with this guy.

How did you get that they were going to have sex from attempted hand-holding?

It sucks to be **** blocked by your parents. Even worse to get bitch slapped by your dates mom. I think this is more an fml for the guy than for OP.

Just a little bit

My parents would probably celebrate if I ever get that far with a girl... That'll be the day ;D

For the fail*

No. For the lose.

from all your comments you've been posting on fml's, you sound like a pretty lonley man..

Some parents just can't accept that their children are growing up.

at the wedding the groom gets to kiss her forehead

With that mom, OP may never get married.

You may now air hug the bride

You may now be attacked by the brides mother is more like it...

Yeah...make sure you lock all windows and doors at night followed by a search of the house before any frisky activity. I could only imagine what she would do if she walked in on you having sex....

How the Hell is she EVER going to get married?

Tell her to **** off... But not in so many words

Why the hell do so many people just write sucks for you? Just clogging up the comment space guys.

Are you Kesha

Ninja Momma FTW!!!!!

hahahahaha Madea's awesome she can't be Madea

34-Yes, she is Ke$ha. Obviously ;)

Errr... No. Like I've said before, I do not shower in beer and glitter, nor do I suck chode for a penny. Therefore, I am not Ke$ha. That is all.

Uh what?

10 is trying to say the mother is jealous of OP, because the mother cannot get any dates/is not a MILF. {Mom I'd Like to ****, if you were wondering.}

I love your picture :D!

I love you,

^ Can u love me too? 8)

No. Your a horrible person.

I'm kidding of course