By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 578
You deserved it 4 356
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Top comments

DooleyFTW 17

She obviously hasn't been exposing them to enough radioactive waste!

340 6
Pleonasm 35

Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile. I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human?? Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes? Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.

232 24

Comments

DooleyFTW 17

She obviously hasn't been exposing them to enough radioactive waste!

340 6
a1f0sff 25

Or rather she's been the one overexposed to radioactive waste making her having different thoughts.

19 6
TML329 14

No it's because she haven't trained it enough for it to evolve yet

9 0
Tristyxxx 24

i wonder what sales person told her this

2 0
CzechIsBack 15

It's an honest mistake. I remember forgetting the radioactive waste once. Oh, the humble beginnings of my dinosaur farm...

11 0
Pleonasm 35

Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile. I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human?? Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes? Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.

232 24
XxDevilxXGt 26

No I had already bought that to store my one pet platypus.

8 23
Pleonasm 35

I bet the Bill for that thing was pretty big ;)

53 7
XxDevilxXGt 26

Yeah that platypus cost me a fortune. Oh.. The terrarium too.

20 7
Enslaved 36

Perhaps if you breed the OP's GF's lizard and your platypus, their hybrid dinosaur baby will be a lickalotofpus. The perfect pet for the ladies! (:

54 2
Pleonasm 35

you saw the "pus" and you couldn't help yourself, could you, enslaved? ;)

36 2
Enslaved 36

GUILTY! :) And also guilty of wanting that pet!!

27 0
Pleonasm 35

Didn't know you wanted a lizard/platypus hybrid to go down on you so bad!

24 2
Enslaved 36

Who said anything about the hybrid going down on me? I just want to pet a pet. Damn! Now "pet, jet, set, get, let, net, vet" words are all dancing in my mind! :P

15 2
Nekogami 14

Enslaved........ Lol. You're so reliable.

11 2
l23VIVE 17

humans and apes have a common ancestor

0 4
WatsonIsThatDood 6

Quick!!!! Consult the wizard!!!

18 39
XxDevilxXGt 26

Hey I would be crying too if they gave me fake dinosaurs. Riding aroud on my Bronchosaurous(sp?).

15 35
DocBastard 38

I think the word you're looking for is brontosaurus. Unfortunately, that dinosaur no longer exists. It's been called apatosaurus for years.

31 2
Pleonasm 35

Don't know about you guys, but I was always scared of the plesiosaurus. You thought swimming in the sea after watching Jaws was scary? Imagine having that thing in the ocean... *pees self*

24 3
I_iz_B_a_troll 23

I always wanted a pet compsognathus. They may be small, but you take a chicken, combine a lizard and a wallaby with the teeth of a shark and you've got one bad-ass little killer. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting on my bearded dragon to turn into a real dragon; I've no clue why the wings haven't sprouted yet!

16 1
Enslaved 36

Only "Puff the Magic Dragon" will help you see those spouting wings. :P

12 1
poccocurantes 7

And people are worried about dog owners. My advise; if you get a dinosaur don't just leave them chained up in the back yard. They need to be socialized or they get mean.

18 1
Trinity1836 11

hey 41, good luck grooming his beard once he hits puberty or gets sick. you'll have to duck everytime he sneezes

1 7
ViviMage 39

It must have coughed a lot!

0 1
kurodansei 16

Tell her to give a little more land before time. Also you'll be the best boyfriend ever if you discreetly switch her lizards with kamodo dragons(good luck with that)

86 7
MelTheGreat 23

Nice thinking. She could also walk them at Jurassic Park so they get plenty of exercise, allowing them to grow to their full potential.

25 1
strawberrywine22 30

Take her lizards back to the pet store, go to the dollar store and get two of those foam dinosaurs that grow when you put them in water. Grow them to full-size, put them in the lizard tank, and voila!

45 10
Psycho_Babydoll 26

Poor girl... know how you should cheer her up? Exchange all those lizards for mice, everyone knows they grow into kangaroos!

53 5
rezho 5

Go to the pet store and demand a refund. Might as well take this all the way.

21 4
DocBastard 38

You should tell her she just isn't feeding her pre-dinosaurs the wrong foods. She needs to give them ground up unicorn horns, sprinkled with fairy dust, mixed with Loch Ness Monster tail. Give it that concoction, and POOF! Instant velociraptor. If she actually starts shopping around for those ingredients, run. Just run.

100 7
Trinity1836 11

Don't they sells those in the flea market? Or is it in Chinatown?

11 1
bfsd42 20

She isn't feeding them the wrong foods. Doesn't that mean she is feeding them the right foods?

8 0
sens3sfailing 24

doc makes typos too. hes human. ~scary thought. I know~

1 1
HowieDoIt 21

She sounds stupid, I figured out the secret years ago, which also happens to be the secret ingredient in the krabby patty.

14 14