Miscellaneous: Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious... - FML

By Bad Dancer - 05/07/2015 01:48 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 034

You deserved it 3 532

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Same thing different taste

Pour some more funny!

By Bruce - 12/03/2023 00:00

Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 158

Chuds out on the town

By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 578

You deserved it 3 995

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 120

You deserved it 4 709

Dancing With The Stares

By Travolta - 20/05/2019 02:13

Today, I was at a party and I danced. Judging by people's stares, I should never ever attempt it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 309

By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 963

You deserved it 50 276

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 262

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 926

You deserved it 38 549

This is the rhythm of the night

By rikitsumiatsu - 10/04/2020 02:00

Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 2 268

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 197

By the-yao - 24/01/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 901

You deserved it 3 810

Next

Top comments

anonymuse_fml 31

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:36

Don't worry about it. The best thing about clubbing is that everyone always thinks you're drunk so it doesn't matter if you dance horribly.

ScratchCatPower 32

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:35

Don't dance too crazily, I guess? FYL.

Comments

ScratchCatPower 32

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:35

Don't dance too crazily, I guess? FYL.

stingray112 24

Sunday 5 July 2015 20:01

Bro unless you were to take dance lessons, nobody is going to be a crazy good dancer so dw about it. Not like they are any better xD

James_is_Mexican 25

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:35

Does that mean you dance good when you're drunk?

anonymuse_fml 31

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:36

Don't worry about it. The best thing about clubbing is that everyone always thinks you're drunk so it doesn't matter if you dance horribly.

399 41

Thursday 12 May 2016 4:34

okay

abbyade 21

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:36

Lol as long as you are having fun..who cares!! I hope you enjoyed hour night irregardless.

Geckosrock99 33

Sunday 5 July 2015 21:47

Umm... Irregardless isn't a word. It's regardless.

Countryboy1996 18

Sunday 5 July 2015 22:29

That's not even a real word. You're affixing the negative prefix "IR" to "regardless", but as regardless is already negative, it's a logical absurdity! ???

devildog562 33

Sunday 5 July 2015 23:44

No what's a logic absurdity?! People who feel a crazy impulse to correct other people over the Internet on some stupid shit. Just my humble opinion though. It ain't no problem in my eyes- have a field day.

RenamonFucksLuna 21

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:36

Have fun while you are there! That's all that matters.

Shredder 16

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:36

Just enjoy yourself! Who cares if your friend thinks your dancing is funny? Encourage her to dance funny with you!

MagnusDeus 24

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:38

Hey, feel good that you don't have to get drunk to have a good time. A lot of people can't say that.

FlyingMoonLady 11

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:39

At least you're having fun!

FuKcMee 32

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:39

maybe she wasn't refuring to this particular instance

myanichole 22

Sunday 5 July 2015 19:39

At least you can use being "drunk" as an excuse to your dancing.

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Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 957

The Top

Today, all I wanted after a bad week was a takeaway. We had a few houseguests, plus my wife and kids, so the order was on the large side. When it came, the order was perfect, except mine. The only things they forgot were my starter, my main, my side order, and my dessert. Everything else was perfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 103

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 753

You deserved it 37 200

Today, it’s the first week of school and I’ve already had to schedule a sit down with two students’ families. The late great Jerry Springer would be proud of how many fists and chairs started flying barely after the introduction. I teach second grade and seriously weep for the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 97

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 150

You deserved it 4 701

Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 015

You deserved it 4 537

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992