The Top

A street that didn't have a specific turning lane. And to clarify my blinker was on. Took awhile to turn because there was a lot of cars coming toward so I was there a while.

By SnurklesMcGee - 12/02/2016 22:08 - Canada

Today, I learned I don't have to spend Valentine's Day alone. My parents invited me along on their date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 592

You deserved it 2 010

By pooperscooper - 20/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - Hunters Hill

Today, I had to wipe someone else's shit off the toilet seat for the third day in a row. We had a new staff member join our team three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 299

You deserved it 478

By awkward - 06/11/2013 21:16 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 574

You deserved it 4 318

By IsThisRealLife - 01/02/2016 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 912

You deserved it 5 805

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 854

You deserved it 6 399

Asshats

By lprocter1982 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 128

You deserved it 3 022

By Anon - 26/01/2016 11:40 - United Kingdom - Kingston Upon Thames

Today, I requested a pay rise at work. They said they couldn't do it as they have to cut costs, so I resigned. They've now re-advertised my job for more money than I asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 661

You deserved it 3 129

By Jane M - 25/10/2013 23:20 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 845

You deserved it 3 747

By helloimkylieee - 25/01/2016 01:04 - United States - Tracy

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 780

You deserved it 1 558

Good initiative

By cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 233

By Casey W - 13/03/2017 12:00

Today, I got my new license plate, which is the story of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 717

You deserved it 456

By college0001 - 20/01/2016 06:06 - United States - Burlington

Today, my college roommate tried to kick me out, because what I say makes her uncomfortable. We haven't talked for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 842

You deserved it 1 843

Feeling a little lighter

By TheBetterRedhead - 28/03/2017 12:00

Today, on my way home from grocery shopping, two young adults around my age came up and asked me for a lighter. Thinking they just needed it to light a cigarette, I handed them my only lighter. They immediately ran away. I got robbed for a 1.99$ lighter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 872

You deserved it 532

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 19:35 - United States

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 780

You deserved it 3 913

Good samaritan

By happyshit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 621

You deserved it 6 563

By Anonymous - 24/12/2015 20:52

Today, after 6 years, two raises and a promotion, thanks to student loans I make less disposable income than I did when I first started this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 799

You deserved it 1 984

By Anonymous - 24/06/2019 00:17

Today, after I got pregnant 22 years ago and my husband became way too overprotective to the point where he became a right pain in the ass, I’m now accidentally pregnant again. It turns out my now 22-year-old son is almost as bad as his dad was. Now I’ve got two of the sods to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 608

You deserved it 556

Keywords

Health Family Argument Thanksgiving Politics Frustration Intimacy Sex Miscellaneous Love AITA Awkward First Dates Road rage Transportation Cars Animals Dogs Cute Alcohol Am I overreacting? Relatable Food Holidays Contraception Suspicious Cheating Kids Poopoo peepee Gross

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 825

You deserved it 4 306

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, it was supposed to be date night but my sister's husband was taken to hospital, so I agreed to to babysit my nieces. My boyfriend went out drinking by himself because, “it’s not his fault I have nieces and can’t say no to my sister, so why should his night be ruined?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 429

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 192

You deserved it 55 568

Today, I was at a party when I saw a guy I vaguely recognized. I walked up to him and said, "Hey! Long time no see!" He looked confused and said, "Sorry, do I know you?" After an awkward pause, I realized I didn't know him at all - I had mistaken him for a character from a TV show I'm currently binge-watching. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 490

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 426

You deserved it 92 258

Today, my boss went out for a few hours. My coworkers saw this as an opportunity to take a 2 hour lunch without getting caught. I stayed at the office to answer the phone, while streaming videos which is a big no no. My boss came back early and caught me, they're all still taking lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 527

You deserved it 10 700

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 486

You deserved it 3 240