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MacArthur Park

By Melody - 08/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, as I was leaving church with a cake in my hands (mind you it was pouring, and I was in heels) I decided to walk on the road instead of the sidewalk so I could get to my car as quick as possible. Turns out, the road is slippery, and slipping means falling. With the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 327

Where do we go now?

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 03:00

Today, while vacationing in Mexico, the Airbnb we were supposed to check into today for 3 weeks just called to say that due to a broken water pipe, they're unable to host us. We're supposed to check out of our current stay in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 111

A Caturday surprise

By fucking cat - 02/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 230

Old friends

By Single5EvaA - 04/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, after being played like Playstation 5 by so many girls, I decided to give a chance to the girl who used to be my best friend and who I turned down. I went on Facebook to hit her up. First thing I see on my feed is her engagement photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 349

It's pronounced Renesmée

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 16:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I told my boyfriend in a joking manner that he says my name slightly incorrectly. Now he’s mad I didn’t tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 473

Trashy

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 74

Game on!

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 20:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that when you have a banker and rental property manager for a dad, and a recently graduated business major for a boyfriend, the absolute worst thing you can do at family dinner night is suggest playing Monopoly. It was four hours of carnage I don’t think I can recover from FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 112

Anger management

By Sure, Mom - 15/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that I needed to manage my spending better. This is the same woman who will log onto Candy Crush Saga, play a level and not come remotely close to beating it, and then blow $20+ on it to complete it. She got just a tad angry when I pointed out this hypocrisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 100

Slacking

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss asked about Anime because her new boyfriend is obsessed with it and she wants to understand. I was showing her some classics like Fullmetal Alchemist and One Piece when she was called away, leaving me with anime on my work computer. My manager then saw it and gave me a written warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 158

Ratted

By Anonymous - 20/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, one of my friends got me in trouble when he called our house and asked my parents why they didn't see us at a school conference. My parents were at a meeting elsewhere at the time, so I didn't bother to tell them about it, as we couldn't have gone there to begin with, and it was voluntary. They're mad anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 185

Eff this, eff that!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my apartment neighbors just had a baby, meaning the only place I can have my morning Teams meetings when I'm not at the office is at my parents' house. Mid-meeting, as I was giving my report, my dad came up the hall, loudly dropping strings of curses. Even though I tried to mute my mic, my boss heard enough; hello, reprimand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 126

Where is my mind?

By Holy fuck - 01/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I had a horrific nightmare where I was lost in the woods and got mauled to death by a hungry wolf. I fully blacked out in the dream before waking up in real life, at 3AM, where I found that my room was pitch black because I forgot to open the curtains. I genuinely thought I was dead for about five seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 138

Unfairly branded

By jake - 03/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, every girl I’ve dated since high school has falsely accused me and spread rumors of me beating them, and of being an “abusive boyfriend.” This is now my reputation around this city. The one thing they all have in common is they each cheated on me with the type of guy they accuse me of being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 150

Grow up

By Anonymous - 08/04/2024 17:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I cleaned my 21 year-old son's bedroom from top to bottom. When he got home from work all he could do was complain that the clothes that were on his "floordrobe"’ were "only worn once." This was my only day off, so why do I bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 671

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 09/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was expected by my supervisor to drive out to one of our office's server locations. My car was dead and I couldn't go unless he gave me a ride, as he's the only coworker local to me; he couldn't because he's on vacation. I sent him a video of my car failing to crank. He responded, "You need to be more mobile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 148

Bad guy

By randy - 16/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my cheating ex is telling everyone she knows that I'm a stalker, abuser, and manipulator. I was always there for her and was trying to talk to her. The other guy was the guy she lost her V-card to in high school. He deals drugs, and beat his ex, even her back in the day. She has nothing but praise for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 87

Two-faced

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 115

J'accuse!

By Anonymous - 19/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Humboldt

Today, I got terminated from my job due to two coworkers accusing me of saying racial slurs four months ago. Four months ago I refused to support the same coworkers in trying to terminate another coworker on false allegations. I’m the least racist person you could ever met. I’m also 5 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 100

Bad look

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 02:00 - Jamaica

Today, after patiently waiting to see my boyfriend for a month because he was overseas, I excitedly went to the airport to finally pick him up, only for him to walk straight past me to greet his friends. He didn't even bring back anything for me, but brought back a suitcase full of goodies for his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 104

Friends for life

By Esther - 25/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 159

Computer says no

By firelava - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I waited two hours in line at college to select my classes. I finally got to the desk, only to be told I have to apply online before I can show up in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 9 976

Demon child

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my Scout troop was to work on my Eagle project. We specifically told everyone where to be and when, except one annoying kid we don't want there. His mother pawns him off on us because he's an aggressive, violent little maggot who can't be trusted with a Fisher-Price screwdriver. Guess who showed up anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 141

Meat beating

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 09:00 - New Zealand

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 215

Deez nuts

By Nicky - 12/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I returned home after a long day, and wanted a snack of the Deluxe Mixed nuts I purchased yesterday. The only thing in the container was almonds and peanuts. My husband admitted he sorted through the nuts then closed the container up so it looked like it had never been opened. FML, and maybe my husband too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 81

Nitwit

By Anonymous - 13/05/2024 15:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, I accidentally started a fire in my apartment's bathroom while I was high. Last night my girlfriend and I had a chat about how she can't trust me 100%. I feel like an absolute idiot and she's rightfully upset with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 886

Fixing a hole

By NOT THE BEES - 15/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd patched up the hole in my window pretty well. That is, until I heard a buzzing noise in my room. There was a huge ass bee that somehow got inside and was trying to escape. I would've helped, but I'm terrified of bees, and I'm now afraid to enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 213

Locked

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was in a rush and didn't notice that the bathroom stall I chose at work had a broken lock. Halfway through my business, a coworker barged in. We locked eyes for an awkward eternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 79

Rollercoaster ride of emotions

By He's ok, nobody died, all is good - 20/05/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to my dad's workplace because my sister was there and I wanted to see my newborn niece. I was overjoyed until my dad came up to me. It had apparently been pretty hectic for the past week, because he was on the verge of another stress-induced heart attack. Yes, another. We had to help him outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 82

Belly bounce!

By Karen - 23/05/2024 18:00 - United States - Solon

Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 174

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2024 02:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I took my motorbike out for the first time ever, after having waited for five weeks for it to be returned from the mechanics. Three hours later and I crashed after getting caught in the rain and hitting an oil patch on the road. Looks like I won't be riding until it's fixed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 207

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings My ex Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Cold weather Annoying Snow Cheating Work Money

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 766

The Top

Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss's wife. I work for my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 292

You deserved it 2 997

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 487

You deserved it 5 301

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 222

You deserved it 3 480

Today, we celebrated our daughter's sixth birthday. Out of the 30 invited, 7 showed up. The last one to cancel this morning told us she was ill. My daughter was in tears as this meant the last remaining playmate couldn't come. My wife later saw her tagged on Facebook at another party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 399

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 187

You deserved it 3 384

Today, while manscaping in the shower, I found out that things can still get caught in the clippers, even with a guard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 098

You deserved it 772