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Bullshit jobs

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 06:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, and ever since someone hired our new manager, she began threatening us, saying she was going to fire us because we "never work." In the meantime, she delegates her tasks, and is never available online. So, finally, our director thought she deserved a salary increase for… not actually doing her work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 90

Mr Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - Canada

Today, I dropped my phone. I'd only just bought this new phone last night. It barely survived 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 468

Communication breakdown

By Anonymous - 27/03/2024 08:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my mom, who still refuses to get a mobile phone, was late coming home, so I was sent to buy dinner. Dad wanted seafood. I picked it up and returned, only to find Mom was already back with McDonald's. Dad insisted we eat that, despite my protests and MY money I'd spent on HIS request. I made sure Mom saw the Verizon ads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 103

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 144

Gimme a break

By anon - 04/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 165

Fresh-faced

By jakob - 09/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I pulled up to a party with my friends. I never partied in high school and college due to being bullied, so I was excited for my first party. It turned out to be a college house party, I'm a little older by 3 years but it’s no big deal. They mistook me for a freshman and I was bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 135

Don't do it

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 08:00 - United States - Coventry

Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 221

Dude, gross!

By juggalo2 - 17/04/2024 03:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 465

Crap

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, I live in my own house, but on my mom’s property. Whether I look outside towards the south, west, or east, I always look upon some ugly crap my mom has lying around. Except the north. On that side, it’s the neighbors’ crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 323

Shit list

By L…… - 20/04/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 984

The internet never forgets

By UnemployedForever - 25/04/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 116

Nope, just nope

By Anonymous - 03/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I met up with a guy from Bumble for a first date. An hour in, he asks me, "What's your take on body odor?" He proceeds to tell me about his intimate relationship with his body odor and how his armpits take on the scents of his lovers' lady bits. He added that the "essence" of his ex often returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 74

Incomplete freedom

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 115

Nope, no way

By fiat850 - 13/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I agreed to go on a bike ride with my boss, even though I think he's crazy. We rode for a few miles, then he decided it was time to merge onto the freeway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 103

Overly attached FWB

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my friends-with-benefits asked me if the girl who just added me on Facebook and Instagram is someone new I’m talking to, all within hours of this new friend adding me on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 400

Rudderless

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 08:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I went to the local emergency room, upon recommendation of my psychiatrist, because I was depressed to the point of being suicidal. They sent me home because there were no beds available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 100

How does their suck make my suck not suck?

By Samme - 29/05/2024 14:00 - United States - High Springs

Today, I realized that after decades of crappy retail jobs, when I left my last one praying to God that I'd never have to work retail again, I got my wish. Brain surgery put me in a wheelchair for life and I can do very little with my limbs. Be careful what you wish for, perspective is everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 104

Alexa, play "Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend" by Pet Shop Boys

By Anonymous - 01/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went back to her ex for the fourth time. I don’t know why I keep going back knowing that will happen, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 818

Stock up

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 16:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

Today, my favorite panty liners are anything a girl could need: Very thin and breathable, yet watertight, and the shape fits anything from granny panties to thongs. Two different brands offer such a thing, and naturally this is the very product that they both decided to discontinue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 89

Guts

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, it's day three of me having unexplained diarrhea that leaves me with such bad gas that it keeps me up at night. Less than a month ago I was complaining to my doctor about having severe chronic constipation. My digestive tract can't seem to make up it's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 50

Oooh, time for some Sweet and Sour King Prawn Balls

By Anonymous - 08/06/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in a serious bid to lose weight, I’ve changed my lifestyle, including throwing away the 20-odd takeaway menus we keep in the kitchen. It’s only been two hours and we’ve already had five new menus from local takeaways delivered through the letterbox. Why, Universe, why do you wish me to stay fat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 342

Terms and conditions

By fishyrael - 11/06/2024 10:00 - United States - Gregory

Today, after being slammed with an unexpected ER visit, a $1000 vet bill, and my roommate moving out with 36 hours notice, all in the same month, I just barely had enough money to cover rent. Then a subscription I didn't know I had charged me $310 with zero communication. They won't give my money back. Fuck you, Noom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 143

What did they say?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to find out why I still haven't gotten my refund for when the ATM gave me a cash dispenser error and cancelled the transaction, but the money was taken out of the account anyway. The error happened on Friday of last week, it's Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 82

What is wrong with me?

By I can't anymore - 16/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my finally figuring out what the hell is wrong with my body has coincided with the local clinic closing for the weekend. I can't get referrals until they open again. Only three long, boring, miserable days and three long, agonizing, sleepless nights to go. And probably more even after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 86

Well played

By Shawnee Gonzales - 17/06/2024 18:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, my 6 year-old told me that he was stealing the fan I just bought. I told him he could have it for $25. He said, "What, you think I’m made of money?" My response was, "Well, you think I’m made of money." He replied, "Isn’t that what MOM stands for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 372

What fresh hell is this?

By What - 27/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after going to the doctor, thinking I was going to be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, it turns out my thyroid is "perfectly normal." Apparently the strange feeling in my neck that oddly mimicked the disease is "an autism thing", even though I've never noticed it happen until now. I am so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 105

Gush gashed

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 125

Rushed off my feet

By Anja - 05/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 497

Role model

By Ryan - 11/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 186

Is it just me or…?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Hornsey

Today, after I ghosted a good friend for 6 months due to mental health issues/dropping out/other life changes, it's been a week since I got back in contact, and I think she hates me now. I stalk her on social media sometimes on my laptop and she made a playlist called "What the F*** are you doing?" like 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 704

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Parenting Kids DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 1 370

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, a deer hit my car. I stopped to check on it, expecting it to be dead in the road or a ditch. The fucker was staring at me from the top of the hill and pranced off just fine. I get $800 in front-end damage and I'm still finding hair and fecal matter on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 044

You deserved it 728

Today, I recommend that you think twice about whether you want your little cutie playing with your apron strings while you cook. Especially if your little cutie is of the kind equipped with claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 546

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 444

You deserved it 4 242

Today, I asked a girl from class out. Not only did she say, "Ew, no way, never, creepo!", but four hours later her boyfriend, who I didn't know about, threatened me with a gun if I ever even looked at his girl again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 122

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 504

You deserved it 29 334

Today, my Halloween costume finally showed up in the mail. Their consolation for a late delivery? A 50 cent discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 066

You deserved it 2 810