Work: Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business...

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 695

You deserved it 2 839

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 528

You deserved it 4 032

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 951

You deserved it 3 544

Diva

By justmeagain - 19/09/2022 13:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I requested to have my own room at a hotel instead of sharing with everyone else, and I was called an inconsiderate diva. The reason is that after eating anything, my stomach makes such loud and disgusting noises that no one would be able to sleep, but I’m too embarrassed to say that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 196

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 227

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 349

By mn051299 - 10/02/2016 09:09 - Switzerland - Richterswil

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 379

You deserved it 3 759

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 104

You deserved it 3 058

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 063

You deserved it 2 597

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 119

You deserved it 1 732

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 200

LadyClarik 8

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:35

Try turning your tv and radio/iPod as loud as they can go to drown out the noise. Also try putting the shower and sink in simultaneously.

anitadoody 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:38

Oh come on, everybody poops. Let it just go with the flow!

Comments

LadyClarik 8

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:35

Try turning your tv and radio/iPod as loud as they can go to drown out the noise. Also try putting the shower and sink in simultaneously.

skittlestrailmix 14

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:36

These are all great tips. Feel better please. :(

Thebroskii 11

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:08

Or just use the lobby bathroom if there is one

peachesncreem 21

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:18

I don't think OP can make it all the way to the lobby with his diarrhea being the explosive kind :3

ScaughtieHolden 11

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:43

Or give them a good laugh. Everyone likes to laugh!

terrykayez 6

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:50

This method works. I use it often.

ColdplaySucks 18

Sunday 30 December 2012 15:36

What a waste of water. I think the T.V. suggestion is better.

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Sunday 30 December 2012 19:27

What a waste of electricity. I like the "Give them a laugh" one better :P

onedirectionxx 8

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:07

THAT'S WHAT I DO

Migole 36

Sunday 30 December 2012 22:33

I do the sink/shower one as well, always worked for me :)

if2013 10

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:37

Good luck :)

horseridermc 2

Sunday 30 December 2012 18:57

Turn the fan on, it overpowers some of the noise.

whyusofat 17

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:01

He had the sour cream luck wont save him....

MisterMichael 9

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:37

Just try to fake cough a lot

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:04

Fake coughing whilst suffering from the super *****... baaaad idea!

igive 29

Sunday 30 December 2012 16:37

It would sound like: cough, cough (squirt) little cough (fart)) cough (squirt) cough (splashing water). pffft.

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 30 December 2012 17:21

Really, 51?? I did not previously know that. Thanks for clarifying.

naya_bingi 11

Sunday 30 December 2012 22:08

51's comment was hilarious! Stupid, yet hilariously so. Reminded me of the scene in Dumb and Dumber...

Carmstro 13

Sunday 30 December 2012 23:22

51, thanks for that. Appreciated the imagery...

pipipiyo 12

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:37

Agreeing with the water on, or just say you were vomiting haha

apan 13

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:13

Yeah like: Hi guys, know what! I'm vomiting like hell and we're sharing room and toilet, isn't that nice?

skellingtonfart 18

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:38

Sing or cough simultaneously!

Wishez 12

Sunday 30 December 2012 15:47

I'm sure her coworker would like nothing better but for OP to start singing.

poccocurantes 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:13

Yes singing while blasting gouts of liquid waste and foul air would certainly not make your coworkers look at you funny. Try something by the carpenters.

anitadoody 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:38

Oh come on, everybody poops. Let it just go with the flow!

dathan 14

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:44

Flow. Lol.

poccocurantes 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:15

Run with it.

frustratedcelt 18

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:44

My motto is, if you can't hide it, decorate it. Go all out, scream and groan and beg for divine intervention. Then just act totally normal when you next meet your colleagues.

howdeedoo 22

Sunday 30 December 2012 17:04

11-Do your colleagues consider you the "strange" person in your office?

junkman6 22

Sunday 30 December 2012 18:17

This is how you know most FML commenters are still in high school they can't understand a joke that might make them look slightly "uncool."

frustratedcelt 18

Monday 31 December 2012 7:27

I am not sure how I can type slower so you understand my post.

DocBastard 38

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:51

With a little luck and perseverance, you may be able to hide the sound fairly well. The smell...not so much.

Tali147 16

Sunday 30 December 2012 15:48

I agree. If the walls are paper thin, OP is going to need some serious smelloflage.

poccocurantes 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:24

Light a match. Courtesy flush. open a window. If all of these fail set the toilet paper on fire, flood the bathroom and climb out the window. Come through the front doors as the fire department arrives and ask what's going on.

Accuraxy 10

Sunday 30 December 2012 21:02

81- That sounds like a grand escape scene from a movie. Diarrhea: The Final Escape

Delta2Almanac 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:54

*Insert shitty joke line thread here.

TheRandomIndian 17

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:06

Sure was shitty

1dvs_bstd 41

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:02

Tell them... the drinks is on me the bitches, the hotel, the weed is all free Get high, I mean so high We see the whole street We fly, I mean so high We need a whole wing...... When they take the bait, it's your chance to totally annihilate the toilet!