By war_monkey - 10/04/2014 12:20 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 765
You deserved it 4 278

war_monkey tells us more.

war_monkey 6

It started on april fools with some very lame joke and he has decided to carry on with it and screw around. Thanks for all of the funny comments and yes, I wanted to punch jeff in the face. He has stopped and I showed him the published FML, XD.

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Top comments

Comments

Travesty911 14

And the end of Jeff is now, in a puddle if his own blood, while for some reason I'm still talking because I'm supposed to be dead.

62 9
ohcheriecherie 20

Narrate him rudely. "Jeff, the ignorant sonofafuck, reaches for the stapler." "That rude ************ who narrates himself takes a phone call." it could help.

123 3
larrena2377 26

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
7 50
wickedalwayswins 7

"One time, he punched me in the face... it was awesome!"

10 23
ballerboy20 8

his next line would be jeff got pmfffd nn hfh fcce

4 37
war_monkey 6

#86, I actually showed him this FML :D

37 0
kaablam 17

Good job Op, now none of the tricks will work! "Jeff is not afraid of you."

0 1
Badkarma4u 17

Jeff happens to be an amateur kickboxer and decided to beat the living crap out someone who assaults him because he was talking at work. Jeff then calls the police and has you arrested for assault and battery. Jeff watches you get escorted out of the bulding with all your belongings in a box. Jeff has a job while you have to explain your history of workplace violence on your next few interveiws.

5 1
wickedalwayswins 7

It was a Mean Girls reference... tough crowd.

6 0
BootheGhost 6

I don't know why everyone is complaining, i would love a talking chimp!

0 0
wcc7777777 5

"Jeff is now in the Intensive Care Unit due to multiple injuries from the comment section on FML

59 4
TheDrifter 23

Jeff is sad now. Jeff is reaching for a tissue. The tissue hurts Jeff's nose. Somehow I don't see violence improving the situation.

24 0
ChenEighty 20

Yes, 4, murder is clearly the only way out of this.

9 46
ian3866 12

You must be a first to not fall down some steps in your life then...congrats

32 2
aleximo 18

One does not simply get pushed down the stairs and survive.

8 29
ChenEighty 20

36, falling is fine, being pushed generally causes a harder impact.

2 17
charbel_fml 11

It's a joke. On a website where people usually joke.

26 1
kaablam 17

I like your style #82, how is it people don't get that?

4 4
jizzwold 21

Sounds like a bunch of real life status updates. You just can't escape them.

120 0
ChawanKiti 15

Go up to him and say, "Jeff just got slapped." Then you know what to do after that op.

75 5
war_monkey 6

WRONG- arnold schwarzenegger, commando. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8-HDUBbtgQ

2 2
laureri 26

Nah don't kill him just play the repeater. Get everyone in the office in on it. One day of the repeater and he will stop narrating!

3 0
Zelphoric 25

"Jeff had a slight accident on the staircase."How unfortunate.

122 2
ZeroPath5 16

Reminds me of the family guy episode when Peter narrates his life. Course, he got punched in the face too. Maybe the episode is trying to tell you something.

79 4
Dmc169 9

"Jeff awoke several hours later in a daze"

45 0