All the FMLs

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 1 132

By nonnie31 - 25/04/2016 19:17 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 934

By Katt - 25/04/2016 18:04 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend on the lobby's couch. We were not paying attention to anything but each other. Apparently, someone tied our shoes together. I stood up and faceplanted into a pool table. I'm now missing two teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 753

You deserved it 6 922

By Anonymous - 25/04/2016 16:03 - United States - New York

Today, I finally got to meet the new Director of my department. She was my intern eight years ago, the one I declined to recommend for a full time position due to interpersonal conflicts. She knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 036

You deserved it 5 573

By too eager - 25/04/2016 15:21 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 980

You deserved it 2 978

By sleepylillion - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 235

You deserved it 1 537

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 493

You deserved it 4 507

By Fuck's sake! - 25/04/2016 01:34 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, it turned out the twit I've been overcharging for drinks in my bar for wearing shades indoors is actually blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 269

You deserved it 27 358

By need new job - 24/04/2016 18:12 - Germany

Today, I was hired as a student assistant. I was excited, until I learned on my very first day that "Supporting the academic staff in their research" actually meant walking the professor's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 425

You deserved it 1 430

By TheSneakyNugget - 24/04/2016 15:18 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I watched a large, sweaty woman stick a hairbrush down her shirt to scratch a rash on her back, before putting it back on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 352

You deserved it 1 101

By Anonymous - 24/04/2016 14:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was getting out of the car, my 7-year-old son opened the door for me. I thought it was very gentlemanly of him to do that, until he smashed my thumb with the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 005

You deserved it 1 336

Freakout part 47674

By just die already - 24/04/2016 09:55 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 747

You deserved it 1 433

By sleepingbeauty - 24/04/2016 08:45 - United States - Jackson

Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 246

You deserved it 3 771

I NEED URGENT ASSISTANCE

By help me - 24/04/2016 08:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I have watched the Elmo's World episode featuring balls ten times in a row. The toddler I'm watching screams if I put on something different. His mom just said she was stuck in traffic. She should be back in about five and a half more replays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 824

You deserved it 1 486

By HomeAlone - 24/04/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 879

You deserved it 21 300

By Roomie pay rent plz - 24/04/2016 01:25 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 435

You deserved it 1 314

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 09:14 - United States - Redlands

Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 170

You deserved it 1 263

By she won't see a therapist - 23/04/2016 04:37 - United States - Omaha

Today, my wife's paranoia reached a new level. She spent a half hour fretting over the idea that one of the cleaning ladies at our hotel might have taken a used condom from our room and tried to get pregnant with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 536

You deserved it 1 493

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 03:26 - United States

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 856

You deserved it 1 696

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 02:22 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 108

You deserved it 1 604

By HollyThorne - 23/04/2016 00:35 - Croatia

Today, I'm a 27-year-old back-to-school university student. Everyone hates me because I'm actually interested in participating in my classes and getting good grades, instead of partying, cheating in exams, and generally not giving a crap. Apparently I make them look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 208

You deserved it 2 355

HollyThorne tells us more.

HollyThorne 2

Saturday 23 April 2016 21:24

Hi, this is OP! I'm not doing the whole partying and not giving a crap part because I've already done that when I was their age so now that I'm older I'm more focused on the important stuff like getting a degree. Still, I underdtand where they are coming from, I was also like them when I was 19. Also, I am working as a freelancer on the Internet 30+hr/week so I'm way too busy and tired to get wild! The reason I think the other students don't like me (there are exceptions, of course) is because I really found myself in the field I'm studying now and like to participate in class discussions with questions and my opinions. Also, since I'm older I'm not that intimidated with my professors so I have a more friendly (but still respectful) relationship with them and they like me for my curiosity and interest. Maybe the class think that I'm a smartass or something. But I am super grateful for your support especially now when I'm tired and frustrated with it all and I will keep going for my own well being :)

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 00:33 - United States - Newton Center

Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 581

You deserved it 2 121