By Awkward - 14/04/2016 00:29 - United States - Albuquerque
All the FMLs
Fitness guru
By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 16:41 - United States
By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 14:04 - United States - Bel Air
By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25
By wasliedtoasakid - 13/04/2016 02:34 - United States - Turlock
wasliedtoasakid tells us more.
Pest control
By sigh - 13/04/2016 02:10 - United States - Charlotte
Check that expiration date man, it's later than you think
By dk_2k16 - 12/04/2016 20:29 - United States - Hattiesburg
By disappointmentafter4years - 12/04/2016 19:31 - United States - Philadelphia
By ew - 12/04/2016 17:53 - United States
By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto
Foot meet mouth
By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park
Badass
By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 12:29 - United States - Saint Louis
Whoops
By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 02:38 - United States - Glen Ellyn
By BlueyedKat - 11/04/2016 17:40 - United States - Huntsville
By howtobreakup - 11/04/2016 16:39 - United Kingdom - Worthing
By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi
Painful relief
By Anonymous - 11/04/2016 07:25 - Canada - Edmonton
By papaedups - 11/04/2016 05:46 - United States - Arlington
papaedups tells us more.
yeah he was proud I suppose that's why I haven't told him the truth tbh
Bad date
By echolaker2019 - 11/04/2016 03:57 - United States - Scarsdale
By Anonymous - 11/04/2016 00:18 - Canada - Maple
By GhillieSuitsnBiscuits - 10/04/2016 20:53 - United States - Portland
By KaylaRox1908 - 10/04/2016 20:12 - Canada - Toronto
HappyItalian tells us more.
When she told me this it was at the end of the work day so I had no other choice but to give it to her at that moment because my shift was over. This job was in retail and this particular store ranks all their employees together from all of their stores across Southern Ontario. I only worked there for a couple of months and it was my first job, so my coworkers grew to take advantage of me or try to stop my sales (yes, they found a way), so that's why I quit. To those of you saying I should've gotten a letter of recommendation: my boss no longer works there and has been replaced by one of those said coworkers! Oh well.
By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland
Good question
By only child says fuck you mom - 10/04/2016 14:56 - United States - Holly Springs
By Anonymous - 10/04/2016 11:41 - United States - Bronx
By IntrepidPig - 10/04/2016 04:32 - United States - Albany
IntrepidPig tells us more.
Hi guys. I have some explaining to do. First off, she thought she had taken my computer as well. She was looking for it when she got home, trying to remember where she put it. Now, when she got home, I decided to put my pajamas on. As I went in my clothes drawer, I wondered if I would hide it there, then I decided I would hide it behind my bookshelf instead. This triggered a memory of me deciding not to hide it behind my bookshelf because it would be too perfect, thus too obvious. I then remembered where I hid it, walked over with such a feeling of idiocy, and found it. I completely deserved this
By Squeepy - 10/04/2016 03:45 - United States - Flat Rock
Squeepy tells us more.
Hey guys, OP here! :) So, good news everyone! I'm not dead (yet). Though I almost died laughing at these comments, thanks for making my day! :D I do believe that there is a logical explanation for this odd occurrence. We do have a communal laundry room in my apartment, as many of you have suggested. The strange thing is, we live in a building that only has 8 apartments, and none of us have babies or young children. And I was not doing laundry that day at all, nor do I recall seeing the sock before we left, which was in a very noticeable spot on the floor. I saw it immediately upon our return. Soooooooo ghosts. It's definitely ghosts. *DUN DUN DUUUUUUN* The plot thickens.
By xSusanGeex - 09/04/2016 23:29 - United States - Grand Prairie
xSusanGeex tells us more.
Actually i am not. I say slaving because i have gas burners which everyone knows heats up the kitchen real quick.
By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 15:26 - United States - Newville
By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 13:12 - United Kingdom - London
Keywords
Hello! OP, here. I appreciate the comments, especially the hilarious sarcasm and puns haha! :D So here's the full story: I just came out of the gym after P.E. (before the bell rang so everybody was still in class) and there was this kid like 30 ft away (going to the bathroom, I assume) and since my hair was really messy, I took out my brush, which is one of those full-size brushes that folds. So apparently this kid thought I had a pocket knife or a switchblade or something because of the way I unfolded the brush (image the same motion you would use to crack a whip or flick a wand or whatever - that's how I opened it because my hands were full). Also, I guess the kid thinks that I brush my hair with a yellow knife...? Anyway, he reported me. I got sent to the Dean and I explained what happened and showed him the "weapon." Luckily, he believed me and not that shit-for-brains kid, so I didn't actually get expelled.