Health

Between a rock and another rock

By Anonymous - 05/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I'm 26. With my learning disabilities and underlying physical disabilities, I cannot work high paying intellectual jobs. I have too many repetitive stress injuries from retail and fast food jobs that I cannot go back to them without being in pain. Will I ever become independent? FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 140

Immersive experience

By Stormy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, where I loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy, and settled in to enjoy the movie. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 221

You deserved it 8 402

Shady tactics

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Rowville

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 857

You deserved it 3 109

It hurts

By postop - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 331

You deserved it 2 115

Cautionary tale

By jogginglikeitsmyjob - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 486

You deserved it 7 150

Quack quack quack

By mikki_arlert - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother threatened my psychiatrist with legal action because he told her the organic and herbal "medicine" she swears by don't actually "cure" mental illness like she claims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 922

You deserved it 771

Cravings

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bay Shore

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 352

You deserved it 8 251

Sore loser

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 105

Climate change

By BloodyHorror - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, the blood from some defrosted steak dripped under my fridge where I couldn't see it. One insanely hot day later, and my whole house smells like it has its period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 484

Pick on someone else

By ARFID - 11/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I have a largely unknown and heavily stigmatized eating disorder that severely limits my food palate. It will most likely lead to a premature death if left untreated, and everyone I know - even doctors - just call me "picky" and leave it at that. I WANT to eat normally. Can't you understand? FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 204

Time to get a lock

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I learned it's not safe to take a bath if my aunt is staying over, because apparently she was never taught the "Knock before you enter" rule if the bathroom door is closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 121

Source?

By Yudith - 11/03/2024 07:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I can't drink coffee anymore due to its turbo-diarrhea effect on me. I also have to take something with caffeine everyday or I will have a migraine, so I drink Diet Coke. Today, I saw on TV that even two cans of soda a week erase the heart health gains made during exercise. Goodbye, healthy hearth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 238

Pipe down

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I have mono. This means I need to sleep a lot, under doctor's orders. My dad has decided it's okay to to play loud bluegrass music and leave the TV on old movies in which women scream hysterically at all hours, and gets pissed at me when I tell him to turn it down. I feel like an old man raising a manchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 81

Pissed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 428

You deserved it 2 560

Healthy goals

By Sana Kim - 10/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had decided to fast after my cheat weekend, because I gained four pounds. I'm aiming to be 103 lbs, but after my cheat weekend I was 106 lbs. Somehow, my weight is not moving at all and I've been fasting for two days. I don't think I can do this anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 769

Flattened foot

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mother accused me of being a drama queen when I screamed as she stepped on my foot. I was barefoot and she was wearing boots. One of my toes is swelling and turning purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 83

Be prepared!

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 10:00 - United States - Washington

Today, we had to abandon a Winter Scout camping trip midway because of a blizzard. I was hauling my stuff out of the cabin. No one warned me about the icy steps. I slipped, landed on my tailbone, blacked out and saw stars. Everyone is now laughing at me and doing impressions of me rolling in the snow in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 108

Covid is soooooo 2019

By Anonymous - 09/03/2024 15:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, after making a 3.5 hour trip to see his parents, my boyfriend found out his dad has COVID. He doesn't understand why I'm upset that they waited until after he was there to tell him. I'm immunocompromised, and can't afford to miss work. My boyfriend still wants to come home after being around him for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 118

Suckerpunched

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 126

You deserved it 3 167

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 457

What?

By Candlestick Maker - 07/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment to figure out why I've suddenly started going deaf. As it turns out, for some reason my ears now produce wax at an alarmingly fast rate. "Enough to make an entire candle before long if you save it up," the doctor said when she cleared them out. I guess this is my life now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 76

All you can eat buffet of shit

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 98

Man up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 680

You deserved it 3 228

This is going to suck

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I, an extreme social introvert, who can’t stand being around people for more than 10 minutes, has just been diagnosed with an incurable brain disorder that will increasingly require other people to be around me to monitor me and run my life. All of which, to me, feels worse than having the disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 155

No excuses

By pissedexworker - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital and missing work qualifies you for termination if you don't call in, even if you have a note from the ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 534

You deserved it 2 495

You can do it

By Suomynona - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Hamburg

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of the door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 702

You deserved it 6 926

Fragile

By John Doe - 04/03/2024 13:00 - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, I was standing in a bus, hanging on to a pole. At a roundabout, I turned with the bus… and blocked my spine. I'm 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 104

The pros and cons

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 07:00 - Australia

Today, I found an upside to being morbidly obese. My partner got a flat tyre, and the bolts had rusted tight, making it impossible for him to turn the wrench. I had to put my substantial weight behind it, and in the end we managed to get them all off by me jumping on the wrench each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 454

Malpractice

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 78

Handsy

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my mother's boyfriend accused me of gaining weight in the middle of a restaurant. He then lifted my shirt all the way to my bra. My mother is angry at me for causing a scene when I screamed, slapped him, and threw a drink in his face, causing him to get arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 124

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my sister, who has "borrowed" almost nine hundred dollars from me over the last few months, told me I was pathetic for not having my driver's license yet and that I "wasn't normal". I was saving that money for my driving lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 851

You deserved it 1 055

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 967

You deserved it 4 014

The Top

Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 679

You deserved it 4 584

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 500

You deserved it 5 510

Today, I decided that since my best friend of 25 years always finds a reason not to come when I invited her to see the house I bought 6 months ago, I would stop asking, and wait for her to make the first move. Did I say today? I meant 14 months ago. I'm still waiting. I guess we're not friends anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 193

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 689

You deserved it 37 528

Today, I asked the iguana to paint his cousin, the chameleon. He nailed it. Smartass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 67

Today, I have always been terrified of stinkbugs. As I was cleaning out my horse trailer, I looked up and saw a stinkbug. In my startled attempt to turn around and run, I tripped, fell into an old plastic bin. I landed face first into a nice little pile of dead stinkbugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 667

You deserved it 2 996