Love

Buzz off

By Anonymous - 14/02/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my husband and kids wait until I’m out of the house before doing fun activities like water fights, board games, Xbox sessions, football, and the like. Apparently I’m such a buzzkill and moody sore loser, they can only have fun without me around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 1 044

Roomies

By Anonymous - 14/02/2024 06:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, after months of searching, I finally found a flat that is affordable and with amazing flatmates. The catch? I'm developing feelings for one of them. My heart sinks when they have a date over. I'm also in a relationship. The situation is eating me up inside. I hate that I'll have to go. Cupid, go f*ck yourself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 648

Don't be this guy!

By clueless - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Irvine

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say, "Nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. It took me three months to figure that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 905

You deserved it 59 654

Wild accusation

By Allissa - 13/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, my husband accused me of having an incestuous relationship with my deceased father, all because we haven’t had sex in months due to my grieving. According to him, no one grieves that hard for someone unless they were in love or fucking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 144

Celebrate the small things

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my wife said that her cup of coffee was the best part of her week. We celebrated our nineteenth anniversary this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 141

Bumped down

By clo_bo - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw a message on my boyfriend's phone from one of his friends, saying I was a downgrade from his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 249

You deserved it 299

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 12/02/2024 03:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 95

Precognition

By David - 11/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I reconnected with someone who'd stopped talking to me when I told him his wife was unstable. He informed me that she'd had a violent meltdown and he now has a restraining order against her. He then angrily told me I'd only made a "lucky guess" and screamed at me for "gaslighting" him when I disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 108

Deity business

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 23:00

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years donated his promise ring at the temple for it to be used to construct the idol's feet. The problem is that I made that ring for him from scratch and he didn’t even have it for 2 months. He was excited when he told me, and doesn’t understand why I’m upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 156

Reality check

By DerrickUhl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21, so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I ordered a drink. She replied, "No problem, kiddo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 128

You deserved it 7 185

Why indeed

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 03:00 - United States - Davison

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s phone. He'd told his brothers, mom, and mutual friends that I was at a psych ward, after I went crazy. We have been back together for four months now after that situation, so no wonder I got the vibe they hate me. Why lie about something so stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 225

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 158

Big red flag

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 19:00

Today, my daughter saw me and my boyfriend making out and tried to separate us because she’s a momma's girl. I thought it was cute and funny, but he yelled at her until she ran back to bed crying. He still thought we were still going to have sex after, because he “got rid of her for you.” DUMPED. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 256

Slicy slicy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 979

This doesn't feel nice

By bloodsuckerr - 09/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend is acting more distanced, leaving me on seen or delivered. We do long distance, he’s supposed to come visit me in three weeks. I don't know what to think. He’s always been sweet and stuff, but now it feels like he’s not trying. This makes my stomach hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 169

Alexa, play "Metal Baby" by Teenage Fanclub

By carl - 09/02/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-girlfriend from a few months ago is dating a metalhead. I’m a metalhead and she did not care to explore metal when she was with me. Everything she didn’t care about me, she loves in him. He’s also better at guitar than I am too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 252

Passive-aggressive

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 22:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I voiced my unhappiness to my girlfriend, as I wanted to go to a class before we met her friends this weekend, and she said she hated back-to-back events. It was unfair as she often planned her work before our dates, and ended up being late. She became paggro, all because I want to learn a new skill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 180

Intrusive "**** you" thoughts

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I had the memory of an ex-friend pop up in my brain and I couldn't help but wonder how the little homewrecker is doing these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 119

Red flag

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Elk River

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 279

You deserved it 3 732

Sneaky

By TasedAndDazed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 619

You deserved it 43 665

Listen up during Sex Ed

By PregoPattie - 08/02/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out I’m 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a senior in high school. I’m not sure who the father is since I was in a situationship with one guy after my ex, and I broke it off last Halloween. My parents strictly forbade me from dating until I was in college, so I don’t know how to tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 938

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 21:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every girl i've ever been interested in will not text me back or follow up. I barely had any luck back in high school. I thought it would get better. Is this what dating is like in the mid-20's? FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 186

He has your…?

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in the middle of my divorce, I got paternity tests for both my sons. God must hate me. My eldest son, a criminal currently in prison who I utterly despise, is my biological son, whereas my youngest, who makes me proud every day to be his father, is not my biological son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 250

Foiled by genetics

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was chatting with my optician and it came up that eye colour is determined by parents eye colour, such as how blue and brown-eyed parents can’t make a green-eyed baby. My wife and I are blue and brown. Our 6 year-old has green eyes. I confronted her and she admitted she'd had an affair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 124

Effed around, found out

By Ryan - 06/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, the woman I left my wife for says she doesn’t wanna date me because she "sees me as a best friend” and “You just got divorced, it’s kinda awkward.” I caught feelings for this woman, tried to fight it for months and finally caved in, only to be told she sees me as a platonic friend. My wife won’t take me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 2 159

GTFO dude

By Outta shape - 06/02/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my husband is leaving me for another woman because, and I quote, “She can ride dick longer than two minutes and doesn’t have two chins looking down on me while doing it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 299

No reply

By Alex - 06/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 153

You sure it was the first letter?

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 14:00 - Canada

Today, after I got dumped a few months ago, I wrote a love letter to win her back. Romantic, right? She didn't think so. She called the cops. Now I may lose my job and my pension, and have to start life over at 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 609

Very funny, Mom

By ThanksMa - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 117

You deserved it 14 568

Suspicious Minds

By TM in SA - 05/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left to visit her mom for the first time since Covid. I'm happy for her, the problem is I've lost a lot of weight and put on muscle since Covid, so she's terrified I'll cheat on her while she's gone, and demanded I install Net Nanny on my phone. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 352

Keywords

Toxic Family Christmas Holidays Love Coworkers AITA Furniture Miscellaneous Parents Sex Intimacy Lonely Relatable Money Health Kids Television Roommate Amazon You're fired Work Cheating Computers Anger issues Mental health Dentist Painful I need your advice Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 202

You deserved it 5 718

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 772

The Top

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 009

You deserved it 57 589

Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 1 077

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 027

You deserved it 7 526

Today, my 6-year-old son said to me, "You smell nice daddy." Surprised but flattered, I thanked him. He then added, "I like the smell of cheese!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 179

Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 545

You deserved it 1 586

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 4 597