Weasley little liar dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France - Paris

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 031
You deserved it 2 691
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

deadxwedding84 5

Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.

275 9
stephan18 23

Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!

154 6

Comments

deadxwedding84 5

Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.

275 9
12GaugeTurtle 1

Or just say your a spy from the other mafia and that sandwich you made him was poisoned.

40 2
379_fml 11

I wanna thumb up this more then once.....

13 1
Reddeaded 5

Still be ready for the attack he says is coming... It never will

43 11
stephan18 23

Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!

154 6
1PaulyD 9

Hey starburst, that's a juicy contradiction there

19 9
MissDanish17 5

Just think positive. He could be telling the truth. ;)

79 4
kittytub 12

maybe the smiley part, but I thought their pic was a dick. >3>

3 18
Acaprice14 9

Damn that's gotta be the most bad ass excuse to leave your girlfriend. You will find someone much more worthy OP!

29 9
youjustmademelol 4

It's a bad excuse but he broke up with you or a reason (which he may choose not to explain) and he did it with out insulting you would you rather him say "your ugly and getting fat, you are boring and annoying, I don't love you were breaking up."? Id go with mafia.

1 1
Bonzer 2

He was probably telling the truth, you never know.

10 21
reallytho3 11

It's that what you call it lol

9 26
DocBastard 38

And now you've busted his cover, you twit! You can expect the Mafia to come after you right about...... now.

121 5
MichellinMan 20

*gun shots from every angle light up her house and destroy windows and appliances and eventually kill her* Our work here is done.

36 1
SerendipityRose 26

*Begins to quote Bible verses while switching off the safety* And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!!

5 6
br0ccoli 14

73-If Michellin tires work that well at protecting me, then those are the only tires I'm ever getting.

4 0
Callyn 47

Well, you dodged a bullet there. He's obviously retarded if that's all that he can come up with.

13 20
Callyn 47

It's hackneyed and cliched, not creative. It's every superheroes reason for not having a relationship, he just stole it out of a comic book.

5 8
cheetahbaby96 8

66- Every superhero is in the mafia!?

19 1
akou616 3

Bruce Wayne - Batman by night, Mafiosa by day

10 0
jweezy89 4

66- Please re-read the FML. Op's bf is fighting against the mafia, not in the mafia. I bet you aced reading comprehension.

0 2
redreynard 14

Want him back? Time to make him an offer he can't refuse.

31 4