Now the kittens will think you're the daddy. :D

This is the best FML I have heard in a long time. Thank you for your suffering, OP.

She was prolly scared and wanted ur help lol

Oh like you didn't think the kittens were cute. You're probably cuddling with one or two right now.

#27 *insert overused comment here*

*inserts penis am i playing this right

67, kittens look like little bald rats when they are born and they, like anything else when born, are covered in blood. I doubt OP wanted cat ****** juices and blood on their face whilst they were sleeping.

99- and if you touch a new born kitten, the mom will eat it because she thinks its an alien if it smells like human

This is not typical cat behavior...

Not true, actually.

Umm.. That's.. Ahh.. Delightful?

112- you're thinking of birds. That's what they do. Like if you see one in the ground you don't put it back in the best because that will do it no good

Not true. Old wives tale. If the cat trusts you, you can touch the kittens.

150 - =P if you see a baby bird on the ground, and want it to live, you should not just leave it there either. There is a slim to none chance that bird will EVER get back into its nest if it falls out. Many birds can't/won't carry their young, or if it was injured will just leave it for dead. If it seems healthy enough to make it, try to see if a local shelter will take it. Also.. just so people know, this doesn't apply to ducks/geese and such. You can take those lil guys to a nearby pond and put them near another group of babies and they will fit right in :)

150: actually, birds have a bad sense of smell. They can't 'smell' human on the chick, they will simply stay away for a while even when you have left to stay out of danger. Birds will always take back their babies if someone has touched them, so if you see one you DO put it in the nest again. Leave it, and the mother will come. So do your research and know what you are talking about please

181 is right. A mother bird will still accept a chick if a human has touched it. Birds tend to be very good parents.

Birds cant smell. Youre suppost to put it back into the nest *google it

That's a pretty disgusting image. Thanks OP!

You think....

Actually birds can smell, and have very keen taste buds

there needs to be antihero button, THAT'S FUCKEN HILARIOUS

The cervix gets dilated not the ******

I have learned alot about animals reading these comments.

Just like people. If they trust you, you can touch da booty.

That, and you're the one who witnessed their births. :D

It's just a stupid cat

How is it just a stupid cat? It just gave birth to precious kitties!

Your 'just' a stupid human.

You no good wanking buggers dumb chodemonkey cats suck dogs are better dammit

Unless you have homes lined up waiting for them and the money to get them all vaccinated, you really should get your cat fixed. There are wayyyy too many cats out there in need of a good home (or living feral), and according to My Cat From Hell (if you don't know it, look it up) a cat that has not been neutered or spayed lives half as long as those who have.

Vaginas can dilate?

And sex makes babies.

Yes they can. How do you think a woman gives birth to a baby? The head has to get out somehow.

Cats are jerks.

41 - no.

44- your comment with your picture make me confused, but I agree...MOST cats are not jerks, a small portion of them can be rotten apples just by chance and a lot of times shitty last owners if you rescued the cat.

I have a bipolar cat..but I love him. He's snuggling with me right now.

107- Not for long

Almost every cat that approaches me tries to scratch and rip my face off. Some are nice though.

My other one is nice:) if you put your face close to his he will head butt you.

132 - Random cats on the street? If they're feral, no duh, they're not socialized and you're either predator or prey. But, a lot of people don't train cats well since they're so small (usually), so they get a worse wrap than dogs when it comes to behavior, because they chew and claw and jump in things they shouldn't =D

I see cats all the time and they come to me and let me pet them.there are these three homeless kittens that I'm working on catching and taming them,

I swear my cat has mental issues as well. I mean, even more than normal for a cat. I think she needs Prozac.

Oral*

Human or otherwise, you definitely wouldn't want that in your face whilst it's giving birth. D:

Pussception.

I was gonna like but didn't wanna ruin the irony of 69

There, I made it 70. You can thumb it up now

The birth of a child is a wonderful thing but not a beautiful event to watch.

Smell that lol? What does lol smell like?

Lol is odorless.

43-it's a funny smell...

It's a smelly smell...that smells...smelly!

Funny... I see what you did there!

Well hello mr crabs! I'll have a crabby paddy please!

Mr. Krabs* Krabby Patty*

Sorry, it's been too long since I have watched sponge bob. Do I get credit for knowing the reference?!