Sex and Love: Alexa, play "Patchwork" by Tindersticks

Alexa, play "Patchwork" by Tindersticks

By OneYearMistake. - 22/07/2009 23:35 - United Kingdom

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 886

You deserved it 6 115

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 105

You deserved it 4 697

By TLT - 16/11/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 482

You deserved it 5 849

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 17:10 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 223

You deserved it 4 218

By Bruja5 - 07/02/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 382

You deserved it 6 158

Clean your room

By disgusted - 18/05/2023 12:00

Today, I told my boyfriend he needed to wash his sheets more often after I discovered the same wet spot from the last time I slept over. He shrugged and said, “What’s the big deal babe? It’s your spot.” It’s been over two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 173

By luvizwar - 18/09/2009 23:27 - Australia

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 340

You deserved it 7 416

By Headless - 29/05/2015 13:04 - Denmark - Lyngby

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 697

You deserved it 9 005

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 062

You deserved it 895

Good night

By iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles - 12/08/2013 14:30 - United States - Mabank

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 429

You deserved it 4 447

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 533

You deserved it 2 213

RESTAREA 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 9:11

He cut up a bunch of perfectly good bed sheets? You guys have done it on enough bed sheets to make a patchwork out of it? You don't wash the sheets afterward? This is disturbing on many levels... Something is wrong with the both of you

coopcas 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 9:12

Give him a sweater you knit out of the pubes he makes you shave off.

Comments

plexico 3

Thursday 23 July 2009 14:49

That is beautiful. Your boyfriend is indeed a romantic. What do you want for your anniversary -- a ******* Care Bear? A few thoughts: 1) A wet spot is not just **** -- it's a blend of his spooge and her vaginal secretions. 2) What are you doing with the sheets with the squares cut out of them? 3) When he's gone, do you smell it to recall your sexual encounters? 4) Be glad that you first year yielded a blanketful of stained squares. After a few years of marriage, you'll be lucky to get a handkerchief! 5) What are the washing instructions on that thing? 6) I can imagine that you will have your bridal registry at Linens & Things. It was a very thoughtful gift, even it you think it is so weird that it was an FML. Your boyfriend can do better, he ought to dump you for a girl that will be licking that blanket instead of whining about it.

murderoticadam 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 15:30

Possibly one of the funniest things I've read on here in a long time.

nikki1001 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 18:04

@71: "6) I can imagine that you will have your bridal registry at Linens & Things." Probably not since they went out of business ;) I, too, am curious about what is going on with these cut up sheets.

plexico 3

Thursday 23 July 2009 19:11

Yeah, I know, I was going to put a disclaimer, but I know of no other well-known business where sheets or linens are in the name itself. It's like you are still going to be able to joke about Bennigan's for a few more years.