Love: Are you OK?

Are you OK?

By unicorn - 12/06/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 752

You deserved it 13 280

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By kat - 21/02/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 726

You deserved it 3 059

By shastadoe - 06/08/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 621

You deserved it 5 862

By NocturnalFox - 25/08/2015 19:46 - Czech Republic - Plzen

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 920

You deserved it 2 207

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 941

You deserved it 2 633

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 04:14 - United States

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 3 679

By unicorn - 13/09/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 739

You deserved it 12 911

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 171

Another one?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 863

Sounds like a keeper

By Rae - 30/03/2023 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 141

Red flag

By Ugly - 06/03/2022 06:00

Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 344

jorvid 0

Friday 12 June 2009 23:17

First of all unicorns is real, and you should be grateful that the unicorn even thought you were worthy of a compliment, you ****!

24788 6

Friday 12 June 2009 23:16

What's wrong with having imaginary friends that you talk to?

Comments

KittehKatt 0

Wednesday 14 July 2010 1:25

I think that's cute actually...

starberries 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 21:14

Wow, you're a bitch, OP.

iAltereeego 0

Monday 3 January 2011 10:44

I swear you just said he was your BOYFRIEND. and then you say "the guy i like" :/ aha.

Ozmat 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 9:52

i think you mean 'complimented'

ArielTheMermaid 17

Wednesday 13 April 2011 4:01

this belongs on MLIA

nirvanagurrl 0

Monday 18 April 2011 4:18

Feed the unicorn to Voldemort.

roxy55 0

Monday 30 May 2011 21:22

laughing my a$$ off

skater4life69 0

Monday 13 June 2011 1:17

UNICORNS ARE REAL!!!

fowler171 0

Friday 17 June 2011 7:15

HAHAHAH he's talking about his dick! Hence the wink. hahahaha

Daniibabyy 8

Monday 25 July 2011 19:52

unicorns are real!i have a pet one.his names henry.:3

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 798

You deserved it 11 965

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I agree, your life sucks 15

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 32 662

You deserved it 2 829

Today, my girlfriend moved to Germany for her Master's degree and perhaps a PhD. I'm still stuck in this third world mess which we call India. I simped for her and agreed that she can have non-serious relationships with other men. I'm so broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 1 200

Today, I was paid to be in a commercial, playing a hiker, camping and grilling by a tent with my pretend boyfriend. To make our on-camera interaction more believable, I suggested to him, "Hey, I'm gonna feed you some food, into your mouth." His answer, "Naaah, I'm good." I got rejected on a FAKE date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 620

Today, I picked up my Gardasil 9 HPV update shot that my doctor prescribed, only to discover that not only do I need three of them, they are $200 apiece. The guy I was dating who was the reason I needed the booster broke up with me on Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 290

Today, I was telling my sister about how I am horribly depressed and how I can't function and she responded with, "Oh, shit! I've got to go Jeopardy is on!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 668

You deserved it 5 975

Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe morning sickness. Not to worry though, it should get better at 14 weeks, right after I get back from my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 687