Weird, Break-ups and Love: Bad breakup idea

Bad breakup idea

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Switzerland - Wildberg

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 306

You deserved it 4 451

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 13:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 967

You deserved it 140 321

By dream_girl_3 - 08/03/2010 09:37 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 646

You deserved it 52 331

By FuckedByLife - 12/02/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Bridgend

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 936

You deserved it 567

By Nicoli - 10/11/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 915

You deserved it 3 989

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 11/01/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I got the news that my ex-boyfriend from two years ago died in a car crash. My fiancé found me crying in the living room when he came home from work. When he found out why I was inconsolable, he said, "Make sure you say hi to that abusive turd in hell for me, thanks for everything." He is now staying at a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 1 600

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 02:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 807

You deserved it 3 290

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 243

You deserved it 3 142

Supportive

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 13:00 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 131

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 373

You deserved it 10 388

By tessisue - 04/01/2016 11:18 - Germany

Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut in his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 876

You deserved it 2 226

DoctorWhooves 6

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:07

Well, be thankful that you're broken up with him then, I guess!

kakarot2 11

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:07

Well.... I suppose you are better off alone than with an idiot. But give him props for originality.

Comments

knsy 0

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:16

Maybe he actually was in an accident and they had to remove his brain.

perdix 29

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:17

From his own mobile phone? Seriously, you need to get rid of someone so technologically retarded. You're lucky he took care of that for you ;)

pajamasam13 0

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:21

Wooow... Just wow

mgndolan26 0

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:22

.... He's stupid

BenderJ_fml 5

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:26

Are you sure it wasn't DocBastard calling?

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:56

Positive. I don't think DocBastard is a douche bag, so no. Wait...

DocBastard 38

Thursday 24 May 2012 1:36

Chipmunk - You sure about that?

coldashell 23

Thursday 24 May 2012 1:48

Doc is a douche?

FYLminerocks 7

Thursday 24 May 2012 2:43

Before he was a doctor he was DoucheBastard.

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Thursday 24 May 2012 20:09

Mother of God, my brain is scrambled. Is Doc a douche or not? *head explode*

br0ccoli 14

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:26

"Too bad that he died because I just won the lotto..." Call him out when he mysteriously resurrects like Christ on the third day.

jellybeans1 3

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:28

he sounds like the type of **** tards i always fall for.

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:31

Are you that gullible?

HannahLouise96 13

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:29

I'd say you've dodged a bullet there. Yeesh.

D3ADSN1P3R 2

Wednesday 20 June 2012 9:45

haha

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:31

Maybe his clone called you. ATTACK OF THE IDIOT CLONES!

ICastillo 24

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:32

Your boyfriend is a moron just be happy you don't have to mother his kids. His gene should not be spread!

Axipiter 24

Wednesday 23 May 2012 23:54

Which one? Why not all of them?

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

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I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 93

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

The Top

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 645

You deserved it 2 998

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 3 295

Today, my Italian boyfriend claims his dad owned a restaurant and taught him everything he knows. His dad must have worked at a McDonald’s then because my boyfriend is the only Italian I’ve met who overcooks pasta into mush, can’t season tomato sauce properly, and thinks Domino’s makes good pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 129

Today, they introduced us to this cheesy school email program. I was trying to be funny by making a draft and sent it to "All" and I typed, "Thanos did nothing wrong." The send button was right next to the discard email button. I sent, "Thanos did nothing wrong" to every kid and teacher at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 3 330

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 37 131

Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 4 730

Bad breakup idea

Same thing different taste

He's a keeper

Supportive

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