Health: Both ends

Both ends

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 663

You deserved it 3 982

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Same thing different taste

Geyser

By Ouch - 15/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 619

You deserved it 11 132

By loveurlifejk - 28/12/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 614

You deserved it 2 131

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 880

You deserved it 3 270

By shitty day - 30/11/2011 10:53 - United States

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 192

You deserved it 2 431

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:09 - United States

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 905

You deserved it 2 960

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 12:36 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 390

You deserved it 1 493

Man up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 678

You deserved it 3 227

By LoveYouTooMa - 20/06/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 926

You deserved it 32 602

By Lunab123 - 01/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Potomac

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 901

You deserved it 2 560

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 260

Ninjaface 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:10

Whatever you do, do NOT make a sarcastic comment about getting a urinary tract infection and/or tapeworms!

shelboo_fml 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:10

A fort in the bathroom with a can of frebreze.

Comments

MissOriginal 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:27

U kinda ginxed urself there XD

lettertjes 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:34

Well yes, there are different kinds of infections that we all call the flu. There is the influenza virus (the 'real' flu) wich causes fever, coughing, a weak feeling and muscle pain. And there are several viruses that cause an infection of the intestines, wich cause vomiting, diarrhea and mild fever, like OP had, wich are also called 'the flu' in everyday speach. And then some people who have a cold, wich is a viral infection of the nose and throat, causing a runny nose, coughing and a troat ache, call that 'the flu' too, when it's a bad cold.

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:42

Drink plenty of liquids and send someone for some extra soft TP, the last thing you need with the trots is John Wayne Toilet Paper ( it's rough and tough and don't take shit off of nobody).

alexandraa_fml 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:56

I wish I could fav this comment. :,D

azn22 1

Thursday 31 December 2009 9:33

same

picturescrazy 24

Thursday 31 December 2009 10:19

This comment made my night :D I feel really bad for the OP. I couldn't imagine how annoying that would be >.

Tensingumi 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 4:40

LMFAO...JOHN WAYNE TOILET PAPER!!! thats a freeeaakin riot...

mn_mpls 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:42

@8 I'm pretty sure they would shit the bed

Stumblebum30 5

Wednesday 30 December 2009 9:53

Wow that's rough. I'm sorry you're going through that. I've had the flu like that before. I was literally sitting on the toilet with the ***** and leaning over the bath tub vomitting at the same time. not fun.