Poopoo peepee and Health: Broke boy

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

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Same thing different taste

Limited edition prank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 693

You deserved it 4 319

Double sus

By Turnipseed3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 307

You deserved it 3 164

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 387

You deserved it 1 845

How could you?

By Ashlee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 257

You deserved it 7 917

Prank protip

By Ca13b - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 468

You deserved it 4 014

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 174

Hard times

By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 670

You deserved it 7 459

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 4 461

Piss poor prank

By peedonme - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 269

You deserved it 2 951

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 168

You deserved it 1 061

zingline89 18

Monday 27 February 2012 15:47

Guess your boyfriend's not as Charmin as you thought

KeyboardWarrior 10

Monday 27 February 2012 17:05

I know right... Especially the 48th one...

Comments

MargieDrury 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:19

Wow! I love reading fml's people are just so..... So not modest. But yeah sorry about your luck and your guy choise of sand paper.

jenncatherine 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 3:01

Are you sure that it's from the tp?

67fb 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 3:38

vagisil ftw

soccerchick022 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 3:58

My college roommates did that. 6 rolls for a buck=worst itching ever!

turquoise07 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 4:08

Use water and feminine wash :)

starkes 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:24

Who tells people this type of shit? KEEP IT TO YOUSRLF!!!

kateRAWR 4

Tuesday 28 February 2012 8:53

I KNOW RIGHT THATS SOOOOOO DISGUSTING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ifyouonlyknew88 1

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:30

tp? sounds like a yeast infection to me. stop blaming your bf & what kind of tp he uses on your vaginal infections . lol

ressa_1428 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:54

Did anyone else think this person was going to say "cheap condom"? Or is that just me cause I'm weird? XD

chrisssdubbs 4

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:57

That is extremely disgusting

dillonManning 9

Tuesday 28 February 2012 6:52

Was it chuck norris tp cus that brand doesnt take shit from nobody!

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, my estranged wife threatened to slit her wrist with a razor blade if I did not send her $50,000. She sent me a picture of her pressing a Gillette Safety razor to her wrist. It looked like she was getting ready to shave her perpetually hairy arms. She never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 76

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 701

You deserved it 3 898

The Top

Today, at work, I was tasked with cleaning up a small AC flood. I saw that water was still dripping from the overhead AC as it was frozen over, so I asked the resident for a bowl to catch the water after I'm done extracting the water from the carpet. She handed me a colander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 425

You deserved it 339

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 281

You deserved it 58 409

Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 1 008

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 378

Today, while my boyfriend and I were talking with his sister-in-law about a TV show, his 6-year-old nephew walked up just in time to hear how Santa killed the protagonist's parents. I've never seen such a heartbroken face in my life, and now he won't stop asking if Santa kills people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 801

You deserved it 4 616

Today, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with both sciatica and ADHD. I don't know whether to feel really old, or really young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 87

Same thing different taste

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