Poopoo peepee and Health: Broke boy - FML

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

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Same thing different taste

Limited edition prank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 693

You deserved it 4 319

Double sus

By Turnipseed3 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 307

You deserved it 3 164

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 387

You deserved it 1 845

How could you?

By Ashlee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 257

You deserved it 7 917

Prank protip

By Ca13b - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 468

You deserved it 4 014

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 817

You deserved it 72 174

Hard times

By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 670

You deserved it 7 459

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 4 461

Piss poor prank

By peedonme - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 269

You deserved it 2 951

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 168

You deserved it 1 061

Next

Top comments

zingline89 18

Monday 27 February 2012 15:47

Guess your boyfriend's not as Charmin as you thought

KeyboardWarrior 10

Monday 27 February 2012 17:05

I know right... Especially the 48th one...

Comments

sunflower226 0

Monday 27 February 2012 22:06

...or maybe the cheap brand of women he's using????

GroovyGravy 7

Monday 27 February 2012 22:41

Shut. Down. Everything

starman02 12

Monday 27 February 2012 23:16

Is that what they call std's now a days? cheap T.P?

josiemorehouse 12

Monday 27 February 2012 23:18

OP: get a checkup. Unless your bf had scented TP and you're allergic, there is no way you'd get your snatch all swollen and itchy from wiping with cheap TP unless you were rubbing too hard right after a bout of rough sex with a cleanly shaved cooch. Sorry, girl, you got the funk. Time to get some antibiotics... And a new man!!!

BornToFlyThenDie 0

Monday 27 February 2012 23:31

Tell him to get better toilet paper or you will dumb his ass. That should help, if it doesn't, dumb his ass.

downtime 12

Tuesday 28 February 2012 4:32

Most people learn from their mistakes...

BornToFlyThenDie 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:13

Really? Now that you mention it, that does make sense. I should start doing that. XD

kellyrose0322 13

Monday 27 February 2012 23:41

Why is he using toilet paper on his penis? 0.o

BornToFlyThenDie 0

Thursday 1 March 2012 4:26

Guys shit to you know.

smbio 17

Monday 27 February 2012 23:54

The first line of the FML implies something much different from toilet paper...

shaniquaaa 8

Monday 27 February 2012 23:54

Is it calles the clap?

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:20

Tell your bf that it needs a saliva salve.

taydeezy 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 0:23

tyme toeave him

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The Top

Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 170

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 888

You deserved it 4 984

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 333

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 728

You deserved it 4 106

Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 336

You deserved it 37 330

Today, I was surprised to see a lot of blood when I looked down the toilet while I was pooping, as I don't have my period right now. I've been heavily constipated since I've consumed my allergy medicines. The thing is, I need them to function normally, as I'd be sneezing every minute if it wasn't for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 103

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 082

You deserved it 4 338