You found a million dollar BILL .. On the ground.. And thought it was real?!!?

Cool story bro. Tell me more about the million dollars.

I'm sorry #1, Because the country you live in must have super high inflation if your nations paper money bills are printed as millions of units ($ or € or ¥) P.S. And I thought the U.S.A had bad inflation lol silly me ha ha.

I only carry schrute bucks.

Same thing happened to me but it was a billion dollar bill

Every ******* bill is similar from a distance, he probably picked it up thinking it was real and then realized it was just the wrath of God. Quit unleashing the thumbs on him

Did you try to cash it at Walmart?

Mr Burns from The Simpsons' million dollar bill

37- I think it's Zimbabwe where the inflation is so great they pay millions for a loaf of bread. They have to carry the money around in wheel barrows.

Damn if I was there I would have picked it up as well, looking at how broke everyone is these days who wouldn't be happy with extra money.

I found one at work... was so excited :(

I would have picked it up even if the economy was going fine. It's extra money. Unless you see who dropped it, you can't return it to the owner. So no harm done.

Try and pay for something with it anyways

Some religions do — they collect money every week. OP should just drop this in their collection.

I agree, shouldn't they be helping people. There's an abortion clinic near my work and there is always at least 3 of them standing outside praying/picketing. They should do something that's actually constructive.

their idea of being "constructive" is blowing up those abortion clinics.

Not to mention, how is needing money being greedy?

I agree. Pathetic and mean spirited.

LOL donate it to the church and watch their reaction.

My sister got a 10 that said "disappointed? You won't be if you accept Jesus" as a tip for pizza delivery. Nope. Still disappointed.

Indeed ;)

Exactly. There's nothing greedy about picking it up, why would you even let it go to waste? :P

7- This is completely unrelated to the FML but I'm seemingly unable to message you on my app currently. You should check out The Black Dahlia Murder and Necrophagist if you haven't already done so. Also, BMTH is TERRIBLE live. Pray For Plagues is pretty much their only good song, and they don't even do that one well live.

40- Hey! You stole my picture! Not cool man

Why have I been buried? I was merely passing on a bit of information. I introduced the comment by pointing out that I wasn't able to send it in a message. Lighten up, guys. I actually put some effort into using other channels before I sent it via a comment.

SH! Keep it secret ;)

Slam the door on their faces, then, when they walk away, finger their butthole. Hard.

Open the door naked, they have never came back to my place since.. I even invited them in. Assholes declined..I think it was cause I was white

Yeah. Or not, I don't get down like that. But you go ahead.

18- Your bio makes my day. :D

To keep Jehovah's witnesses away, all you need to do is scratch your crotch very obviously and/or pick your nose and then offer your hand for shaking. Then tell them you're already Christian/Buddhist/Muslim etc. etc. etc.

I got rid of them one day because I actually had the flu and when I answered the door was coughing and snuffing all over. I never knew they were that afraid of germs, but the beat a trail off my porch pretty fast.

You honestly don't have to go to that extreme.. Just say your Not interested. And if you don't want them back, ask them not to come back. Lol

Exactly like 97 said- All you have to do is tell them politely you're not interested and they don't come back. Everyone saying ridiculous things like scratch your balls is an idiot. That's not why they didn't come back. They didn't come back because you stated you weren't interested. It's not that big of a deal. They're following what the bible says they should do- spread the word of the lord. At least they're not hypocrites like pretty much every other religion.

18- prolly made them secretly happy ;) and made them rue the day they swore not to comment fornication.

Can I grab your cans too?

No! Bad troll! *sprays water on le_troll