Intimacy: Caught in 404pp

Caught in 404pp

By danggit3290 - 03/05/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 030

You deserved it 89 503

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Didn't see you there

By eatmyshipoopie - 18/12/2009 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 10 148

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 615

You deserved it 35 190

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 874

You deserved it 33 084

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 628

You deserved it 4 826

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 15:52 - United States - Red Oak

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 391

You deserved it 10 918

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 189

You deserved it 238

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 350

You deserved it 664

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 523

You deserved it 79 366

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 199

You deserved it 37 100

By Burntintomyretinas - 19/09/2012 04:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 839

You deserved it 3 607

instrumentals 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:02

holy crap CLOSE THE DOOR.

dantheman931 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 23:04

YDI for not closing the door. On the other hand, FYL for having a stepdad who would stare at you while you're masturbating instead of, I dunno, walking away.

Comments

whudafxup 0

Monday 4 May 2009 0:00

There is NO reason why you didn't deserve that. And if you are telling the truth anyways ... your stepdad is so creepy omg.

glockjaw 0

Monday 4 May 2009 0:00

shut up # 73. No one cares about your conspiracy theory. If you want to be a detective go to the police academy. Not FML, Jesus!

SergioFML 0

Monday 4 May 2009 0:02

Think of yourself as the step-dad, finding your awkward son without his glasses on squinting at you while jacking off, HAHA If I was the dad, I wouldn't be creepy and look at him doing it, it was probably too dark to see it anyways. I would just laugh at his stupidity for not closing the door.

glockjaw 0

Monday 4 May 2009 0:05

# 74, whoops*

smileychik95 2

Monday 4 May 2009 0:07

Try closing and LOCKING the door next time. I say YDI

tiltwrestler 0

Monday 4 May 2009 0:07

Ok ok, this whole situation is one giant clusterfuck. How is this wack? Let me count the ways... 1) You are wackin' the weeder WITH THE DOOR OPEN. 2) You wear glasses instead of contacts. Then, you don't ever bother to wear them when you need 'em. 3) You were watching **** instead of getting laid. 4) You question your sanity to the point that you think figures are "in your imagination". 5) You, instead of closing the door just in case, decide to leave it open just for the hell of it. 6) You stare at the figure for an entire minute. 7) You KEEP BEATING YOUR MEAT WHILE YOU ARE "INTENSELY STARING" AT SAID FIGURE. 8) The ghost of christmas past turns out to actually be your step-dad. 9) Your stepdad, instead of quietly leaving the scene, makes the situation awkward by saying something. 10) Your stepdad STARED BACK AT YOU an ENTIRE MINUTE while you were JACKIN IT! ========================== ...On a side note, this sounds like the makings of an ill-crafted Porno...

fatfaceunited 0

Monday 4 May 2009 0:09

your stepdad must be way sexy for you to jerk off while looking at him... or your just really lonely

Thek1D 0

Monday 4 May 2009 0:12

I am not a step dad or a dad... but if I had a kid and I caught masturbating. I would close the door and apologize lol I wouldn't stand there staring at you... pedophile...