Love, Poopoo peepee, Awkward and Health: Compromising situation - FML

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 695

You deserved it 4 963

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Same thing different taste

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 347

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 697

You deserved it 1 020

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 124

You deserved it 4 859

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 560

You deserved it 2 947

By oops - 30/07/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 216

You deserved it 7 119

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 261

You deserved it 685

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 3 547

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 871

By arse of fire :( - 23/02/2013 00:31 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 129

You deserved it 3 895

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 430

You deserved it 4 058

Next

Top comments

Lauren10102 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:41

Climb out the window... NOW

FMLandurstoo 9

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:45

so you're posting the FML from the toilet?

Comments

adair96 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:47

you poor thing. lol... hilarious!!

coco_kitty 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:54

sounds like the movie "along came polly"

koleksiw 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 6:04

that sucks

scottyrocks123 21

Sunday 17 July 2011 6:24

use your socks

LizzyTheCaliGurl 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 6:34

aw that sucks!

283leis 8

Sunday 17 July 2011 6:43

YDI for not checking first.

lilyz_fml 2

Sunday 17 July 2011 6:52

oh shit

slieb845 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 7:29

just use one of his good towels

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 17 July 2011 7:44

sorry to hear that your date went to shit. perhaps you should powder your ass while you're at it.

dj1313 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 8:12

was the tp roll there? I would have used that.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 92

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You deserved it 6 900

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 58 293

You deserved it 4 940

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I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 572

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I agree, your life sucks 7 209

You deserved it 525

Today, I see plenty of guys who've messed up on Valentine's Day and not getting their girlfriend’s gifts. Meanwhile, I’m over here having been turned down by every girl i’ve known for the last four years. “I only see you as a friend”, “I’m not interested in a relationship”, “I don't see you that way.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 625

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

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I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 390