Love, Poopoo peepee, Awkward and Health: Compromising situation

Compromising situation

By anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 695

You deserved it 4 963

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Same thing different taste

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 347

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 697

You deserved it 1 020

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 124

You deserved it 4 859

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 560

You deserved it 2 947

By oops - 30/07/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 216

You deserved it 7 119

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 261

You deserved it 685

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 3 547

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 871

By arse of fire :( - 23/02/2013 00:31 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 129

You deserved it 3 895

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 430

You deserved it 4 058

Lauren10102 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:41

Climb out the window... NOW

FMLandurstoo 9

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:45

so you're posting the FML from the toilet?

Comments

SugarRushxx 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:46

Weren't there tissues or SOMETHING?

Kennzz 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 21:14

who keeps tissues in the bathroom?

skyttlz 32

Saturday 16 July 2011 21:30

who doesn't

Altosax 4

Sunday 17 July 2011 5:58

Maybe a pad even?

RaineLee 5

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:46

Oh that sucks. Should've went home after the date. Or you can use his shower & take a clean, warm bath then step out of the bathroom naked.

leemurcat 5

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:49

A clean bath? I can't imagine why anyone would take a dirty bath.. That seems rather counterproductive.

spacemanspiff78 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 20:33

I've heard of taking a shower with mud butt, but a bath? Nothing like lounging in shit water to get the hormones flowing i guess.

MurphyS94 4

Sunday 17 July 2011 2:57

23- bath= sitting in water with dirt and god knows what else from your skin floating all around you. Baths don't really get you clean...

RaineLee 5

Sunday 17 July 2011 20:33

Okay, I really meant take a shower. Sorry for the confusion.

Zaffro 8

Monday 18 July 2011 12:35

you sir have just made me actually lol.

GayBaconStrip 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:46

Just have your boyfriend clean it up if your into that kinda stuff..

wordnerd42 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:53

Skid marks are soooo sexy.

GayBaconStrip 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 20:24

I bet they're a dirty couple.. She said it was a "hot date" :)

moosemonkey1000 6

Saturday 16 July 2011 20:54

He's not her boyfriend.

xXSKYLARXx 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 18:28

lol epic meal time "gay bacon strips gay bacon strips gay bacon strips" XD

airborn54 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:47

use your hand lol!

starsfan_9 7

Saturday 16 July 2011 20:30

haha yeah and then *insert another terrible idea*

iEatGuppies 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 0:03

aren't you classy?

justanotherrando_fml 2

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:48

That's when you use the powder somewhere else…

BIEBERSLAYER 10

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:48

after ten minutes I'm sure he knows something else is going on in there.

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 16 July 2011 21:09

The drain monster probably initiated it.

lajaynay 15

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:52

Use the loofah!!!

MrSexyPants 14

Saturday 16 July 2011 20:21

Or she could rinse it off in the shower! If there are no towels atleast she can airdry!

IIIiIII16 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:52

classic

samijade 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:55

You're always supposed to look first... "Honey, what's that stuff on your pants?" "Don't worry, it's just brown marker" That one always works..I would know.