It depends on where you work but in most cases showing cleavage at work is pretty trashy. YDI

hahah what a awesome boss

Yea, because if you disagree with part of someone's opinion, you MUST disagree with all of it! Way to keep yourself in the dark.

I can't believe that some of the men on this board think that when a woman dresses a certain way, she deserves to be degraded. As a man, I don't know what it's like to be objectified and it would not be the same to tell a guy "nice package" because men are the oppressors. It's a shame that the general population still takes no issue with harassing women, even after fighting so hard for decent rights. I'm glad there are at least some laws. I hope you sue the crap out of that guy. And as a side note, Feminists are not extremists/lesbians/prudes/manhaters or whatever. That's only what conservative backlashers try to make you believe. Unfortunately they are pretty successful at stigmatizing Feminists.

Wow, what a douchebag.

Thuryn / #324: Well, thuryn, that was quite a response. Let me take it one point at a time, because there is some really interesting stuff here. Yeah there may be a 'cry wolf' atmosphere. Frivolous lawsuits are a real big problem in America. I hope you agree that if women appear 'whiny' when they have real complaints that this is bad, right? However, how bad does the harassment need to be? Is a crass comment too little? Is only continued abuse enough? What I'm saying is that it is the comments and disrespect that go unnoticed that cause a bad sentiment towards women. If we allow certain behavior to be commonplace, we won't make any progress. On your second point you seem to be assuming what kind of outfit she was wearing. But it doesn't really matter if it showed a little cleavage inappropriately, or unintentionally. I personally doubt she was breaking dress code. Then again, one can also question the dress code itself and who decides on its limitations, which are mostly geared towards how women should dress anyway, since it is much easier to dress appropriately for men. I don't mean to make sweeping claims here, just consider the point. Also, lets throw the idea that it was a compliment out the window. Even if it was the guy's intent, it was not the impact. Basic safe zone training tells you that. You should know how to act in an office with your colleagues, if you are their boss, they are not your buddies. If you want to make comments like that, do it somewhere else. If a woman is genuinely hurt or made uncomfortable by the comment, it is not a compliment. And really, is it that hard to think before you speak? Of course, making it a legal thing is difficult. It is made difficult. I hope there is an outlet for these sorts of things so they can be settled without lawyers. Although, no one wants to lose their jobs, especially nowadays. How much power does this woman have in this case? What can women do to prevent this kind of behavior? Be really careful of victim blaming. Then again, you need only one seminar on sexual assault for that. You know, for saying you're an ally, you have to get something straight. If I'm doing social justice work as a heterosexual white male, I better know what privileges I have with that in this society. There are tons of studies about how straight white men are more listened to than people with different genders, colors, and sexual preferences. When I say that "men are oppressors", I don't mean that you wake up in the morning ready to be racist, sexist or homophobic. You just have to be aware that you are awarded certain privileges simply for what you look like. I won't go into this last point much, because it is difficult to explain, but a woman can't be sexist towards a man, a black person can't be racist to a white person, and a gay person can't be heterophobic towards a straight person. You may find this strange to accept, but consider in each of those cases who has the power. If society gives you the power for no other reason than being straight, white and or male, then you can't be oppressed the same way that others can. Oppression does not have to be an active thing. It is mostly also not an individual thing. So now I'm a man-hating bitch? (We do have a lot of words referring to degrading women, don't we?)If I started hating men, then I would hate myself. If I hate myself, how can I love and respect others? That does not make any sense. I embrace my heterosexuality and my masculinity, but not in a way as to say that it is better than anyone else. Don't lump me together with your generalizations either.

Well your probably really hot ;)

If you have a problem with the reponse, maybe next time you'll dress a little more professionally.

If u play ur cards right it may be time for a promotion

This is iffy because we don't know the situation. We don't know what the OP was wearing, or how "well-endowed" (as other people have said) she is, so we can't really make assumptions about whether or not she should be blamed. I know I tend to have a problem with shirts sometimes myself in that if they're not up-to-my-neck high-cut, then yes, staring straight down at me will reveal a little bit (but not looking at me from the front). We have no idea whether the OP was wearing something appropriate or inappropriate for work. Either way, I would argue that this is not a YDI in any case, because comments like that *are* inappropriate in the workplace, regardless of who says it and to whom it is said (and regardless of sex). If the OP was wearing something inappropriate or intentionally showing off her cleavage, her boss could have handled the situation better by taking her off to the side and saying something to her, not by making a comment like "Nice cleavage" which (as the comments show) sort of makes this whole thing iffy as to who should be blamed here and blah blah blah. And if the OP *was* wearing something appropriate when she got that comment, well, then, she just has a creepy creepy boss.