Delusional

By fmlifetime - 24/10/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 640
You deserved it 14 910

Same thing different taste

Top comments

perdix 29

She meant when are you due for a heart attack. Tell her, "Before I'm 50," shove a banana up her ass and keel over from the excitement.

kmfyr 0

Should've said you were doing an experiment in male pregnancy. o_O

Comments

perdix 29

She meant when are you due for a heart attack. Tell her, "Before I'm 50," shove a banana up her ass and keel over from the excitement.

If that's a win, I'd hate to see a fail. Guess #13 wins as well, by that logic.

123sploosh 0

Ahaha yeah I'm struggling to find the win in that sentence too

perdix 29

fireandice, your profile says you are studying medicine and you don't like that "due for a heart attack" line. That makes me sad. :(

It also says he's Australian, so taking him seriously might not be the smartest thing you could do.

LMAO this is Hilarious ahahahaha by the way, why were you shopping for me??

I think you should grabbed her hand and made her rub your **** .

Man I see no reason to be upset about that if you're a guy. That's funny. :(

Scrantoncity 0

i predict the next fml to be about some girl not getting any action. but her family is.

She just randomly came up and rubbed you? That's inappropriate even if you were a pregnant woman.

Uh oh the PC police _____________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

Privacy Conduct? 'Cause seriously, if a random old lady touched me (like that; if she bumped into me I don't care), I'd freak shit.

While I can understand the awkwardness to the situation, what the lady was doing is innocent in nature. ________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

@ 63 Not really. Touching someone without their permission is not innocent just because the toucher deems it such. If any one did that to me - old ladies included - they would likely get clocked in the face. Personal boundaries and so on. Some people don't like being fondled by strangers. On a side note, even if the OP was a woman, this would still irk me (though I am aware the old lady may have simply been a smartass). I've known so many women (of normal, healthy weights) who have had random people ask them if they were pregnant when they were just going about their business. Unless a woman looks like triplets could fall out of her crotch any time and she is shopping for formula and baby clothes, it's rude to assume she is pregnant and ask such things. I'm amazed how little common sense some people seem to have, especially when it is no secret that the majority of women nowadays have body and self esteem issues. I'd be tempted to ask the old lady when she's due for her funeral. But only as an innocent inquiry. ;)

Ok I understand that everyone is entitled to their own idea of personal boundaries, but why take the innocence of an old lady as a deliberate attempt to spite you? Like seriously would you clock an old woman that came to look at your baby in the carriage because she "invaded my personal boundary"??? Unreal ______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

She wan't looking, she was touching. Huge difference. As for clocking a granny ... that would not be a voluntary reaction. Come up to me and touch me uninvited when I am not expecting it, and you get what you get. Reflexive reactions happen before you have time to process 'oh it's just the innocence of an old lady'. It all depends on the approach (i.e from the front/periphery/back). If I'm standing in a supermarket looking at bananas and suddenly there is a hand on me, reflexes are going to kick in no matter who it is. That's life.

What's your point? I mean I understand the look but don't touch aspect when it comes to peers, but the chick is a granny or whatever, it's completely innocent in every aspect. And to bring reflex into it, that depends on perspective. The guy obviously didn't reflex and neither would I. does innocence have any definition to you? _________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

Starry, m'boy, let me tell you a little something... My grandmother works at a nursing home. There are some young nurses there. There is a man in his 80s there. The man in his 80s would frequently grope the young nurses. They allowed him to because of this "innocence" you're talking about ("He's old - he has no idea what he's doing/doesn't know he's doing wrong."). He tried it on my grandmother. She royally bitched him out. He stopped. Turns out, he was 100% aware he was being inappropriate; he was not senile at all. He was a pervert. Not saying granny's a pervert, no, of course not, but just letting people touch you because of their supposed "innocence" is not okay. You just don't touch people you don't know. That's stuff you learn in childhood. In fact, how often are kids reprimanded for touching people inappropriately? Quite a lot! They're innocent (usually), but that doesn't mean it's not inappropriate or that they should be allowed. And the lady /rubbed his belly/. It's not like she come up and patted his back/shoulder. And, yeah, Six has a point in that it's just rude to randomly ask about pregnancy unless it's blatantly obvious (or if you're a doctor). Just doesn't feel good at all... or, at least I would suppose.

Agreed, yet some people seem to think it's their god-given right.

bosshaug 0

43? Get off of fml and support your family

real or fake.. this is how FMLs were intended!!

Even if you're fat, you must have some massive man-boobs and a really girly hairstyle to be considered a pregnant woman.

tinkchic4life 0

thats what i was thimking. but think of this as motivation to lose the beer belly i guess