Delusional

By fmlifetime - 24/10/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 640
You deserved it 14 910
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Top comments

perdix 29

She meant when are you due for a heart attack. Tell her, "Before I'm 50," shove a banana up her ass and keel over from the excitement.

42 3
kmfyr 0

Should've said you were doing an experiment in male pregnancy. o_O

34 1

Comments

0neiros 14

You should have pissed on her shoes and said "Uh Oh, my water just broke."

1 0
Starchild21 3

And the explanation for the penis is...? _____________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

0 0
WorkThatButt 2

HEY ***** I LUV YOU ALL KKTHXBAI

0 1
Starchild21 3

Ah yes the words of a virgin who plays WOW all day long and only socializes when his girlfriend from Scandinavia calls him ___________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

0 2
Bananaaa_fml 0

lololololololol Starchild ur too funnyy!!! XD wats wow by the way ???

0 1
ziqi92 0

wow is the anagram for World of Warcraft

0 1
frostie 0

and that (World of Warcraft) is a game that takes away your life and soul, because your too busy trying to upgrade your characters level and complete quests etc etc. (Note i do not play or own WoW but i have friends who do... unfortunately :( )

0 0
cmac86 23

"I'm due for another six-pack as soon as you stop rubbing my belly."

2 0
CoolHipDude 0

I hope you yelled in the loudest voice possible "I AM A MAN, YOU STUPID OLD BLIND BINT!!!!!" lol lol :))

1 0
frostie 0

fmlifetime, you fail to see the difference between a "i want to kill myself after what happened" event, and a "omg hahahha you wont believe what happened to me today" event.This clearly is a "omg hahahha you wont believe what happened to me today" event. Your definitely looking at it in the wrong way and should look at it in a positive way. This story would be a good story to tell at the dinner table or to friends since your clearly missing how funny it sounds. The old woman has the eye sight of Mr. Magoo xD (unless you have long long hair then i can see how she thought you were a woman).

0 0