Kids: Desperate housewife

Desperate housewife

By lamemom - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Fredericton

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 209

You deserved it 9 080

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 03:41 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 163

You deserved it 6 517

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 1 288

Tori Amos?

By wedeserveeachother - 24/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 2 308

Caught in 404p

By Tucker - 08/02/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 509

You deserved it 48 588

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 6 539

I'm busy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 08:00 - Canada - Emsdale

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 176

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 1 858

By KrazyKill - 09/03/2012 19:04 - Canada

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 992

You deserved it 75 031

Waxing lyrical

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 04:00

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 029

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 205

You deserved it 30 473

EverestMelting 23

Sunday 6 April 2014 10:41

Hey at least you are a committed parent! That's what you should be proud of rather than disgracing it with a lie! Be proud of your efforts!

JACKxRAWR 22

Sunday 6 April 2014 10:42

The kiddie rave scene is pretty hardcore though

Comments

prljm10 10

Sunday 6 April 2014 23:48

Why be embarrassed? Do you really care what others think? Be honest and be proud! Only care about your kids and teaching your kids honesty

8born8 18

Monday 7 April 2014 1:15

Loud music, a small space crammed full of people, spilled drinks, tantrums, puke and accidents. A standard clubbing night out IMO. The fact that you took your kids out and had fun with them is nothing to be ashamed of. My mum and I still go out partying every now and then. The feeling of seeing your kids having fun, hearing their laughter and watching them smile makes everything worth it. Remember that and wear the title of mum with pride OP.

SimplyEcks 15

Monday 7 April 2014 1:37

For me at some point most clubs turn out the same and get kinda bland over time. But experiences with children I would imagine would be quite new and cool (because I'm not yet a parent but hopefully one day!) so be proud when you're out being a real parent spending time with your kids.