Kids: Desperate housewife

Desperate housewife

By lamemom - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Fredericton

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 210

You deserved it 9 080

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 03:41 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 163

You deserved it 6 517

Liar !

By Anonymous - 14/03/2020 09:00

Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 1 288

Tori Amos?

By wedeserveeachother - 24/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 2 308

Caught in 404p

By Tucker - 08/02/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 509

You deserved it 48 588

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 031

You deserved it 6 539

I'm busy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 08:00 - Canada - Emsdale

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 176

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 1 858

By KrazyKill - 09/03/2012 19:04 - Canada

Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 992

You deserved it 75 031

Waxing lyrical

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 04:00

Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 029

Self report

By banana12321 - 02/04/2015 04:40 - United States - Fresno

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 205

You deserved it 30 473

EverestMelting 23

Sunday 6 April 2014 10:41

Hey at least you are a committed parent! That's what you should be proud of rather than disgracing it with a lie! Be proud of your efforts!

JACKxRAWR 22

Sunday 6 April 2014 10:42

The kiddie rave scene is pretty hardcore though

Comments

Headcrab 29

Sunday 6 April 2014 18:03

No shame in that OP. Caring for your kids and doing stuff with them, that's pretty cool in my book.

da_best_eva 9

Sunday 6 April 2014 18:11

Just be glad you didn't slip up and say that you went to a club called chuck e cheeses, that could have made the situation that much worse

Masonjar13 10

Sunday 6 April 2014 19:31

For shame.. I would have been proud to say I spent time with my kids.

Ames7X 6

Sunday 6 April 2014 19:42

OP, you shouldn't have to lie about that. The fact that you'd rather spend time with your kids, being a good mom, makes you cool. That's much better than dumping your kids off on others to go clubbing. Be proud of yourself and your choices!

imbedderdenu 23

Sunday 6 April 2014 20:06

Who cares! be proud you're a good Mama! if anyone judges you for that they arent worth being friends with. all good moms are lame lol I'm one of em

jjmiller1001 17

Sunday 6 April 2014 20:13

life is all about taking the kiddos to play groups, the park and chuck e cheese. your kids will always come first if your an awesome parent, and it sounds like you are!