Health: Emergency!

Emergency!

By Not dying. - 21/04/2015 07:55 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 022

You deserved it 10 909

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Inside out?

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 21:00

Today, I’ve been having the worst gas, nausea, and stomach pain of my life and literally nothing I do works. While I was at work, I farted but it came from the inside out; it was so loud there’s no way everyone didn’t hear it. My stomach started bubbling so loud, the guy sitting behind me got up and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 148

By Tor - 21/04/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 810

You deserved it 12 960

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 584

You deserved it 4 364

By Carla - 12/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 815

You deserved it 442

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 853

You deserved it 6 936

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 02:00

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 413

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 20:00

Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 435

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 927

You deserved it 7 350

By dead rats - 08/08/2016 13:58

Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 685

You deserved it 1 318

VonBlitzkrieg 27

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:12

A "fart attack," if you will.

CODplayer4lyfe 24

Tuesday 21 April 2015 16:12

Never use the Internet to check your symptoms. Never.

Comments

Evil_Jester 17

Tuesday 21 April 2015 17:27

Oh what a relief it is!

gobiteme2 34

Tuesday 21 April 2015 17:27

Sounds an acts like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory

LostInTheZone11 29

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:02

On the other hand, it might have been the brussel sprouts.

artoozie13 15

Tuesday 21 April 2015 17:35

Thankfully it didn't scare the shit out of you.

venomousflower 24

Tuesday 21 April 2015 17:54

WebMD is one of the worst places to look: my eye hurts= cancer: I scraped my leg= cancer; I got a tooth removed and I have pain= cancer

Captain_Debilos_fml 13

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:09

did your coworkers hear you farting?

MrZsDad 19

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:12

At least you didn't let it rip in the ambulance.

Wakachulak 22

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:21

Google doesn't have a medical degree? Shocker.

Mmmsushi 14

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:27

The Internet: if you exist you have cancer. And probably heart problems too.

Geckosrock99 33

Tuesday 21 April 2015 18:45

That is why if you're going to Google your symptoms, you should look at the most likely causes. That way you don't scare yourself like that.

writerchic85 25

Tuesday 21 April 2015 19:14

I do the same thing. I'm always convinced there is something wrong with me

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Love Vegan Alcohol Health Annoying Singing Work Sports Miscellaneous Accident Healthy Lifestyle Sex Intimacy Gifts Money Kids Addiction Sexism Racism Coworkers Bodyshaming Parenting Cute Poopoo peepee Weddings Ironic AITA Neighbours

The Top

Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 729

You deserved it 1 031

Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 430

The Top

Today, my mother scolded me for undressing my son and giving him Tylenol to break his fever. She insisted I wrap him in several layers to increase his body temperature in order to let him "sweat the fever out." I’m married to a pediatrician. My mom didn’t finish high school. She swears we're wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 203

You deserved it 164

Today, I spilled water on the front of my pants right before a meeting so I tried drying them with the hand dryer in the bathroom. A coworker walked in just as I was awkwardly squatting in front of the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 137

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then told me that yes, he's cheating on me, that he's dumping me, and that I'm fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 183

You deserved it 6 593

Today, I caught my boyfriend watching Andrew Tate videos and agreeing with everything he was saying. I shared my opinion that Tate is a disgusting human, and my boyfriend said that of course I’d try to suppress the truth like a typical woman. Ladies, I think my boyfriend is broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 711

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started daydreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone came up to me and said, "Try not to be so obvious." Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 908

You deserved it 11 787

Today, I sat on an elevator for 10 minutes thinking I was stuck. After waiting awhile I looked at the screen to see what floor I was stuck on, only to realize I hadn't pressed a button so I had just stayed on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 269

You deserved it 63 926