Intimacy: Emergency

Emergency

By Anonymous - 03/05/2009 23:22 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 275

You deserved it 20 888

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By bubbalicious - 13/08/2009 20:57 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 711

You deserved it 87 016

Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 332

You deserved it 4 320

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 048

You deserved it 3 929

Disrespectful

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 849

You deserved it 29 096

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 960

You deserved it 259

By FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 074

You deserved it 3 992

By Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 440

You deserved it 19 456

By scot - 02/09/2012 15:38 - United States - Granby

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 271

You deserved it 13 989

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 012

You deserved it 8 974

By lolk - 10/03/2013 07:41 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 713

You deserved it 41 688

YOUNGSMUTTY 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:08

That's sad. I hope your grandma's alright! You're such a sweet boy for going home to help her. I'll take your virginity ;) Haha jk.

shortandloud 0

Monday 4 May 2009 10:09

That sucks about not getting sex but I have to say that the whole getting stuck between the bowl and the wall is pretty hilarious.

Comments

Victoria2103 0

Monday 4 May 2009 15:50

Everyone's being so stupid about the whole "2 years and no sex" thing. I think it's sweet you guys waited this long. Also. That totally sucks. Next time, turn your phone off. ;)

xarcanus 0

Monday 4 May 2009 16:20

YDI. i ALWAYS turn my phone off when I'm with a girl; it keeps our time special, and I don't get **** blocked by someone calling me for something stupid. I'm sure your sister could have called someone else.

BabyHuey 0

Monday 4 May 2009 16:27

You self centered ass! Your grandma fell between a toilet and a wall...and you are bitching about your life! I hope you get herpes when you finally hit that!

ZiggyMorrison 0

Monday 4 May 2009 16:35

I'm just gonna part some knowledge on you when you do eventually get around to the making of love make sure you have a wank before hand you'll last longer and where thick condom if you last like ten minutes she'll be rather impressed

d_fens99 0

Monday 4 May 2009 16:37

Agree with #28...Who answers their phone when they are about to lose their virginity? Your girlfriend probably thought it was rude. Which might explain why its been two years and you haven't gotten any.

gg15 0

Monday 4 May 2009 17:04

It's a sign it wasn't supposed to happen.

mcsnelly 5

Monday 4 May 2009 17:21

People, get off the OP's back! Since when is it a horrible thing to wait to have sex?! I agree with # 50, it's sweet. OP: And good thing you did answer the phone u would've felt really bad about it later if you didn't. (And I'm sure your girlfriend thought it was sweet!) And it was his 9-year-old sister calling....I'm sure he wanted to make sure everything was okay if she was calling him so quit telling him he shouldn't have answered the phone!

DizzyDemon0 9

Monday 4 May 2009 17:28

I dunno about y'all, but I'm only 19..and I ain't looking for "that one"..so I don't like to wait at all. If we aren't having sex, then why are you with me? I find it weird that you answered your phone...that totally ruins the mood you're trying to accomplish.

blankslate 0

Monday 4 May 2009 17:33

I love how you say flat out that you're not making it up, when it's like, one of the most realistic FML's I've read.

Tehalon 0

Monday 4 May 2009 17:36

#28, Some people know some people, and those people only call when its really important. Especially at certain hours. F.e. on fridays/saterdays or sunday mornings, calls from certain people will most likely mean someone is in the hospital or needs help.