Pranks, Awkward, Drugs and Parents: EMMA, GET BACK HERE, NOW! - FML

EMMA, GET BACK HERE, NOW!

By UnfortunateGirly - 26/02/2010 08:30 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to yell out, "Pass the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 298

You deserved it 6 370

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Same thing different taste

By rolled - 27/01/2018 01:30

Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 270

You deserved it 495

By NoFriends - 02/08/2009 17:12 - United States

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 961

You deserved it 7 548

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 129

By GHTD - 27/01/2011 11:20 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 40 986

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 2 815

Privacy

By whyme27 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 935

You deserved it 4 478

By King_of_hearts - 04/04/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 648

You deserved it 4 834

By ugh - 01/12/2015 03:52 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 656

You deserved it 1 584

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 12:00

Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 209

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 826

You deserved it 25 015

Next

Top comments

stinkytruck 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:05

better than " spread them wider baby"

socaldgaf69 0

Friday 26 February 2010 16:11

haha who gives a shit my friends say that all the time. that's Nothing to post about so stop bitching YDI

Comments

Tribulations 0

Friday 26 February 2010 17:05

Oh, lighten the **** up.

JonnySayer 0

Friday 26 February 2010 17:07

that's nothing compared to what my friends say, bit of a silly fml, your life isn't really ****** is it??

therealemma 0

Friday 26 February 2010 17:14

lisa, chris, dan, hanna???????? is it one of u???

nobridgejustwate 0

Friday 26 February 2010 17:26

Oh wow, your like is like, soooo ******. God, you must have such a hard life, with good friends who joke around with you and a mom who keeps you away from drugs. Either way, no big. My friends do this all the time. Just explain it to your mom. There, fixed. YDI.

Fml37 0

Friday 26 February 2010 17:36

Not really a big deal me and my friends do this all the time.

Raheemdplayer 7

Friday 26 February 2010 17:44

My friends do this except we usually say (if its a girl) 'Put your top back on Gilly your getting nipple erections!' or 'Gilly can you pass me my boxers please :P' You can hear her mum on the phone saying 'What the hell is going on!?' lmao

youthink_fml 0

Friday 26 February 2010 17:57

Lighten up. Like your mom doesn't know what type of friends you have. Anyone else would have laughed and forgotten about this instead of crying "I'm screwed" on the internet.

neonskittzy 0

Friday 26 February 2010 18:07

meh did she say anything? nothing wrong with hitting the peace pipe. cept the legal issues.

kitties_fml 12

Friday 26 February 2010 18:15

That is funny.

screwedupclick 0

Friday 26 February 2010 18:37

pass it then you ******* slag!

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Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 014

You deserved it 3 325

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years, and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 324

You deserved it 2 005

The Top

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 679

You deserved it 2 679

Today, I had two 100's and two singles in my wallet. The two 100's was for my electric bill and the two singles were for the bus. Once I got off the bus and to the electric company, I noticed only my singles were there. Turns out I paid the bus driver $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 088

You deserved it 40 475

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 635

You deserved it 3 541

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 110

You deserved it 282

Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 786

You deserved it 750

Today, I stopped by McDonald's with my brother. I asked him what he wanted and I repeated his order. The lady said, "We don't have that here." I stupidly answered, "That's weird. We have it where I come from," and she replied, "Where did you come from honey, 1995?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 565