Health: Ewwwwwww

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 23/02/2015 17:56 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 651

You deserved it 5 941

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Same thing different taste

By shitty day - 30/11/2011 10:53 - United States

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 2 431

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 361

By prego - 24/08/2010 16:01 - Canada

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 534

You deserved it 5 320

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 05:17 - United States - Norristown

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 109

You deserved it 1 787

Both ends

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 664

You deserved it 3 982

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 563

You deserved it 11 247

By jdch_99 - 03/11/2012 05:34 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 792

You deserved it 1 747

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 592

You deserved it 3 492

Marcella1016 31

Monday 23 February 2015 22:36

Sit on the toilet with a bucket or trash can in front of you...?

dthindd 17

Monday 23 February 2015 22:36

Just use a bucket in front of you so you don't have to clean up any puke!! Best way to go. (Line the bucket or bowl or whatever with a garbage bag so u can easily throw it out)☺️☺️ hope you feel better soon!!

Comments

He11Rais3r 2

Tuesday 24 February 2015 0:46

Next time sit on the toilet and either bring a bucket or lean over and puke in the bathtub or sink dummy

anonpbc 20

Tuesday 24 February 2015 0:51

get a cheap small wastebasket, line it with several plastic bags like from the grocery store. vomit in the top bag, take it out and tie it up & go for the next one. that way you don't smell thay earlier puke. sit your butt on the toilet for the other issues.

Gillett 23

Tuesday 24 February 2015 1:12

Really dude. that's messed up. Better get a trash can or something.

CaptainPicard 3

Tuesday 24 February 2015 1:17

Now this is what you would call "double duty." Haiyo!

singafairytale 11

Tuesday 24 February 2015 1:17

Why wouldn't you use a bowl or bucket or trash can to vomit in, and sit on the toilet. I feel like this is a YDI for not using your head.

bandit223 6

Tuesday 24 February 2015 1:21

You know, they do make garbage cans...

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Tuesday 24 February 2015 1:21

Are you really that idiotic? No offense.. But everyone knows to sit with a bucket.

shitstorm28 11

Tuesday 24 February 2015 1:30

You deserved it because there's a strategy for this. sit on toilet, hold trash can. but still, it sucks and I feel bad for you anyway.

RespectMyShine 2

Tuesday 24 February 2015 1:31

Although that's real crappy (see what I did there?), OP deserved it for not figuring out the toilet/bucket combo after 5 hours of cleanup. I'd rather puke in a bowl than clean it up off the floor for that long.