Sex, Gross, Underwear and Intimacy: Fix up, look sharp - FML

Fix up, look sharp

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 9 507

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

lionandthelamb61 9

Friday 20 January 2012 11:58

Didn't your mother teach you not to talk with your mouth full?

NippsSlipps 10

Friday 20 January 2012 11:56

Multi tasking....nice

Comments

Pelreskovich 11

Friday 20 January 2012 14:39

Wow.. That is disgusting. Taste good?

Okayitwasme 0

Friday 20 January 2012 15:00

Guys and their FUNK smelling underwear! I suggest tossing the dirty pair in the shower with him! Then he has to get a clean pair!

FatSack 0

Friday 20 January 2012 15:02

That can't be a good BJ if the two of you are having a conversation at the same time...

luigi2012 0

Friday 20 January 2012 15:19

That's sad.

yountsta 0

Friday 20 January 2012 15:21

At least you give head!

grands138 4

Friday 20 January 2012 15:28

In the middle of giving head? So then we can assume you finished? Maybe we need to discuss you're hygiene if you're still willing to complete the task after discovering the dirty underwear.

Wildhunter16 3

Friday 20 January 2012 15:30

Girl, you need to suck it up.

JustOneMinute 2

Friday 20 January 2012 15:33

That's awful! Tell him no more head until he learns to stay clean! :)

karmicsamadi86 9

Friday 20 January 2012 15:46

Ewww....

jovan1281 0

Friday 20 January 2012 15:47

Damn homie

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Neighbours Lonely Halloween Wanker Love Jealousy Party Fight Family Argument Animals Cats Parents Sports Health Embarrassing Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings Pranks YouTube TikTok Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft…" He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina, which delightfully formed a crease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 035

You deserved it 22 061

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 184

You deserved it 8 136

The Top

Today, I was having a serious discussion with my girlfriend of 11 months. I broke the news that I was diagnosed with Lymphoma and I needed her support through my treatments. Ten minutes after, I receive a text saying that she can't endure the pain and stress that I'm causing her, and that we're done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 354

You deserved it 3 304

Today, my friend broke ties with me after I came out of the hospital from attempted suicide. She was the one who called the police for me to go in there in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 327

Today, after months of my best friend telling me we were going to be roommates and moving to a new city together, with me trusting her, she ditched me because “everyone” told her not to live with me. She’s still moving, and we’re going to be in the same school and class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 161

Today, upon applying for a new job to leave my old crappy job I was informed by my new potential employer that he was unable to hire me because he is friends with my current boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 004

You deserved it 722

Today, I finally had it out with my abusive father. I spent almost an hour detailing about how he constantly humiliates me in public, treats me like slime, and hits me at random when he's in a bad mood. His response was, "Quit being such a wimp" because I'm "not female." Mom took his side. I'm 16 and can't move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 95

Today, my doctor told me I needed to eat more salt to keep my blood pressure from dropping dangerously low. He only shrugged when I pointed out that he had previously told me to eat a low-salt diet to control my vertigo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 722

You deserved it 1 533